THEN THE TOURIST VANISHED
Blackpool was the destination of
fthe train, and the dear old lady in
the corner seat had badgered and
orried the guard all the way.
Somehow or other, the traffic that
Lday was particularly heavy, and the
train arrived at a wayside station
where a discourteous signal barred
further progress till an excursion
ahead had- got out of the way.
."What's the matter, guard?" came
the inevitable question from the dear
old lady, as she wagged her wonder
ful bonnet out of the window. "Why
did wa stop eo suddenly? Why do
you look so anxious? Is everything
ji "Oh,, it's all-right, ma'am," said
ihe tired and rattled guard. "We've
only hit a cat."
: "Dear me," ejaculated the poor old
Sear. "Hit a cat, have you? And was
the animal on the line?"
f "On, no, ma'am," bleated the
guard in reply. "Our engine chased
,it up an alley!"
I'M Busy. Ask dot voman
AT TXfT VASHTUe SHEAIM'T,
HIS POINT OF VIEW
At a certain town a fire occurred
one afternoon not many weeks ago,
and occasioned, needless to say, no
small amount of excitement.
No member ofl his regular staff of
reporters being available at the time,
the news editor of the local daily
paper sent the newly-engaged society
editor to investigate the matter and
About twenty minutes after the
paper had finally gone to press, the
following found its way into the of
fice: "A brilliant fire was held at the(
house of Mr. an1 Mrs. Smith, in Dash
street A large number of persons
"Mrs. Smith made a charming es
cape in one of the season'a latest
kimonos. It was of pure silk, with
a pretty flower effect, ankle length
and gored in the back. A pattern
of this garment, which can be made
atvery slight expense, appeared on
our woman's page last week.
"The firemen were becomingly (
garbed in blue Buits, with full-cut
tunics. The weather was quite de
lightful for an affair of this kind, and
the arrangements were carried out
without a hitch.
"Because of the fire, Mrs. Jones of
374 Dash street opened her house to
Mrs. Smith and her two charming
daughters. The expression was heard
on all sides that the fire was a most
successful event. It must have cost
at least $5,000."
A QUESTION OF ETIQUETTE
"Our horse and thfe cow is in the
field," declared, the teacher, reading
aloud extracts from the bundle of es
says on the desk before her. "Now,
Mary, what is wrong with that sen
tence?" 'Mary, it would seem, was better
versed In the rules of politeness than
in those of grammar. At all events,
she answered promptly:
"Elease, teacher, the lady should
be mentioned first," "
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