Newspaper Page Text
ri!fj!jrvirS5k mp -
I (teHaalFCAIRWef J
4 U X Vess.
it iLAU f VWW" tJO OROt .
'P D"55 tCTTERFOR ME? 1
Is J V 1DC5NTPEEUUKE
. -h .V eET-pMoarr. y
Perkins was a merchant 'a pros
perous merchant, whose life was very
valuable, and who, therfore, when
laid low by typhoid fever, was nursed
with the utmost care and strictness.
Thanks to his treatment, however,
Perkins' life was saved, and soon the
patient passed from the out-of-dan-ger
stage to the convalescent stage,
until at last came the day when the
nurse told him he might now begin
to partake of solid nourishment
Delightful visions of a modest re
past occupied the sufferer's mind
an,egg, maybe, some toast, and per
haps a little custard. But these hopes
fact crushed completely. The solid
rnourtBhment, as brought by the
nurse, consisted of only two table
spoonfuls of tapioca pudding. ,
- "And (he doctor says that for a day
or two you must do everything in
e same proportion, enjoined the
moments -later, a. frantic ringing of
the bell brought her running back
"What is the matter? ' sh$ in
"Nurse," gasped Perkins excitedly,
"bring me a postage stamp. I want
to do a little reading!"
TAKING NO RISKS
"Good-morning, Mr. Isaacs!" re
marked the insurance--office clerk -
Mr. Isaacs felt alarmed.
"Vot's the madder?" be inquired.
"My premium's paid, ain't it?" v
"Oh, yes; that's all right," said the
visitor. "I've merely called to show
you these fire extinguishers."
Mr. Isaacs laughed.
"Fire extinguisliers!" he exclaim
ed. "They're no good to me, my boyf
If I'm burnt out, you've got to pay
me." - .
"Yes, yes, Mr. Isaacs " replied; the
clerk; "butthe point is If you keep
these extbguishers-tt-your premises
my companyHaDows you sixty per
cent off your premium."
"Sixty per schent!" gasped Isaacs.
(,Ah, my boy; nowvyou talk bizness!"1
And a moment later Isaacs, too,
was talking business. So much so, in
fact, that when Solomons called at
his office next day he found the place
literally strewn with bottles.
"Vot are you up to, old man?" ask
ed Solomons. "Opening a chemist's
"No," said Isaacs. Then he ex
plained the nature of his previous
"But what dp 'they put in the bot
tles?1' asked Solomons.
- "Ah," said Isaacs, i'I dunno vat vas
in 'em vhen they came, but they're
full of petroleum now!"
' HELPING HIM, OUT
"Speech fails me, Miss Edith. How
can I tell you my love?"
"Well, for a mere dollar you could
use the long-distance 'phone fox Mr
nurse." ' .,
Tb.en,she leit tbejroont-."J5ufc.aiewi