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Newspaper Page Text
i 1 "
-KOSS PRESlDtHT VILSoM BLAYS
, &, WD VEN HE MAKES A
-MISPLAV H SAYS-
ifors all. y
COULDN'T BE HELPED
"Remember, constable,", said the
portly mayor to the constable who
stood on duty at the town hall on
the night of the children's fancy dress
ball, "no adults can be admitted."
"Right, yer mayorship," quoth
Dooley, as he set himself about regu
lating the crowd.
Everything was in full swing, when
Dooley felt himself suddenly clutched
by. an excited-looking female.
- "This ain't the ball room, missus,"
"My little girl is in there," she an
swered, pointing to the Ball room,
"and she's forgotten part of her cos
tume." "Can't help it, ma'am. No adults
lis to go in."
r "Nonsense!" cried the woman. "My
little girl has gone as a butterfly, and
has gone without her wings. I want
;q put them on her."
Dooley wrinkled his forehead, and
tried to think If any of the official
regulations prescribed for a case like
"Orders is orders, ma'am' he said,
at last. "Ye'll have to let your little
gel go as a caterpillar!"
THE WRONG LIZZIE
"Queen Elizabeth will be our sub
ject for tonight," an-unced the
teacher in the evening school to the
body of young men gathered there.
"Elizabeth!" mused Jack Case, sit
ting in the corner of the class near
the window. "Now, fused not to like
the name, of Elizabeth; but, of course,
that was before I knew lizzie."
"She thinks it best that I should
come to this night school, although I
don't know how she thinks that sit
ting here listening to Queen Eliza
beth's history Jis going to make me a
better bookkeeper. Still, she's the
dearest little girTih the world, and on
a fine night like this " - -"
And he gazed .sentimentally at g
star he saw twinkling through the
window. As something far distant
he heard the master drone. Sudden
ly, however, his meditations were
rudely "interrupted by the teacher,
who had noticed his wrapt, star-gazing
"And how old was Elizabeth, Mr.
Case?" he rapped out
"Eighteen last birthday!" stumbled
Jack, quickly pulling himself 'to
gether. Then the class sniggered.
A JOLLY CHAP
She How the time does fly! I am
halfway through my holiday already!
He Yes, the time seems to go
vry quickly at the seaside. You see,
there if so often an evening mis.t!
o -o -
-. Louis Bertie is the meanest man
on earth. I bet him a newluat one
day last week, lost the bet and today
received a bill for a sum big enough
to tmy five of the best silk hats In
town. Charles Great Scott! How's
that? Louis He let fes id eelggfc
One for herself. ;