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Newspaper Page Text
AHE DESERVES A GOOD TOKEN.
M DS? KOSt, BUT BETTER 1
DRIVE HOME A LESSoK BYSHOWlNfi )
WW HOW E PLACES HIMSELF J
AT A "DtSADVAHTAQE.. -
A DULL THUD
"Hove you ever placed yourself in
he hands of a beauty doctor, Mrs.
"Why do you ask me that?"
"My' husband wants me to go at
"Yes. I have been taking regular
treatments from one for the past
Then I think I'll not go-, it seems
b be useless."
a The hunter had mistakenly shot
X"What," asked the former, bending
Mown eagerly, "is your name?"
ife ."Smith," ''gasped the latter, with
s last breath.
The hunter's face fell. "And I
CEame up here," he exclaimed, rue
fully, "In pursuit 01 rare-gamer
BREAD UPON THE WATERS
Algernon was a "free-lance' jour
nalist, and, at the moment, could
have done with considerably less
freedom and more money. In fact,
he was besrfnnine to realize that a
Tegular salary had its advantages.
So was Algernon's wue.
A somewhat gloomy silence was"
broken by the postman's knock, and,
restraining any undignified hasteJU
gernon went to the letter-box. 11
contained a foolscap envelope, which!
i& not the kind that editors drop
"Shades of the poets!" quoth Al
gernon. "This is really more 'than I
"What is it, dear?" piped his wife.
"What is it? Why, I sent this edi
tor two stories, and the heartless fel
low has returned three!"
KNEW THE ANIMAL'
The teacher in acountry school
always tried to make the lessons as$
interesting as possible.
"Now, children," she said, "let me
see what you remember about the
animal kingdom and the domestic
animals that belong to it You have
named all the domestic animals bufi
one. Who can tell what that one is?"
"What!" exclaimed the teacher.
"Does no one know? It has bristly
hair, hkes the dirt and is fond of get
ting into the mud."
A small boy at the end of the class
raised a timid hand.
"Well, Allan?" said the teacher.
"Please, ma'am," said the little boy
reflectively, "it's me." Lippincott's.
WHAT'S THE USE?
"So your men demanded an in
crease in pay that meant $5,000 a
year additional expenses to you?"
"Yes, but we handled them right
We hired 200 special policemen, do
nated $5O,O0O to the Manufacturers'
Protective Association fund, and
crushed the strike with a loss of only
six months' time and $100,000 dam
age to our property." Puck.