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title: 'The Day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, September 18, 1913, Image 17',
meta: 'News about Chronicling America - RSS Feed',
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
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j fctft5b t SERVtCE SIP,
anJ---' IN "DER KNI6HTS )
. 7" OF REST. J
THE UNNEEDED TONIC
"Yes," said the doctor, "there Is
no, doubt about it; you are run down.
But that can soon be put right, as
you have had the sense to come to
me In time.'
He stopped speaking, and wrote
f6ut a prescription on a half-sheet of
'Take this," he said, "to the
chemist, and get him to -make it Up
?for you. It will put you right again,
and will only cost half a dollar."
After fumbling in his pocket for a
xfew moments the patient spoke:
? t'Doctor," he said, "would you
f mind lending me the half dollar?"
The doctor, without uttering a
word, tool? back the prescription he
3lad just written, tore it up, and-made
.... ... 1-- 1 j uniLi. in i.
.Here, ne saiu. lms.wui amy,
cost you a quarter. The other would
have been quite unnecessary It was
HOW IT SOUNDED -
He was about to ask her father for
her hand in marriage, but he did not
feel nervous. As he carefuly var
nished his hair he repeated for the
last time the manly little speech he
"Mr. Smooth, I have called to tell
you, quite frankly, that your daugh
ter Ethel and I love ead other, and
to ask for your consent to our mar
riage. I am not a rich man, I know;
but we are both young, and strong,
and willing to fight the battle of life
together " And so on.
It was not until he found himself
alone with her father that his collar
grew suddenly tight and his eyesight
faded. He plunged:
"Mr. Smooth, 1 er ahem! I
ah frankly come to er hum tell
you er quite frankly that "you
that we that is, that I ah love
your daughter! Ahem! I ah have
frankly called to er ask you to
ah to to to be my er wife.
That is er Bhe we er I no!
We are young, and er will fight!
Iah hope, Bir, you er under
And father did that's the wonder-i
ful part of it!
PAT WAS PERPLEXED
"Pat," shouted the boss to his Irish .
porter, "here's a dime to get soma
cheese, and a dime for some bis
cuits." Pat started on his errand, and,
after a long delay, returned, f umbHng
with the coins in his hand, apparently
in great distress.
"Well, Pat, what's wrong?"
"Shurd, sir, pi got the dimes
mixed, and don't know which is for
cheese and which is for biscuits."
"'"The neighbors are complaining
abQUT the noise of the horn I carry
on my machine. How do they ex- t
pect me to warn folks to et out ofl
, "By autosuggestion probably t 1&
Hot your nerves! Good-morning!"
" . - . A. -- -r's1. . l.