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Newspaper Page Text
DAILY COMMENT ON PEOPLE AND THINGS
Messenger girls is the latest in Ber
lin. That ought to drum up trade.
Steel coaches prevented a heavy
loss of life when a Great Northern
Burlington train leaped through a
burning bridge riear LaCrosse, Wis.
New Haven road please note.
Anybody who looks like a squirrel
had better steer clear of 'Evanston.
That town has declared war on the
And anybody who makes a noise
like a nut will be safe in Evanston
if they succeed in ousting. Mr. Squir
rel. We can see trouble coming for Dad.
The latest woman's gown, known as
the hipless, needs suspenders to hold
it up. Now it will be a race to see
who gets up first in the morning.
And who ever doesn't will probably
have to rely on safety pips.
Considering the interesting fea
tures, as told by some of the boy in
mates of the Pontiac Reformatory,
that ought to be a nice little place to
When a boy is given such rank
food and treated to so many beatings
that he prefers suicide to living
well, that's going some.
We don't know just who to think
for this spell of bully weather. Guess
we'll divide the honors between the
weather man and the international
Evers and Zimmerman are e" i
chewers. They are .f he guys wuu put
gum in argument.
"Welcome to our city, we are proud
to have you with us," said mayor of
Concord to American Bug.
Now that's what we call real hu
man. No, use holding it against the
Bug that he had one brainstorm,
committed one murder, escaped the
death penalty by pleading insanity,'
bribed his way out of Matteawan and
is lighting the law with his millions.
Didn't he put a few Canadian villages
on the map?
Don't blame the natives for crowd
ing around to look at the Bug. If
the millions win we may have to pay
admission at the 10, 20 and 30 vaude
No reason why he couldn't yet
make a hit in vaudeville. Certain
Count made a great hit on the stage
in Chicago after he gained notoriety
on the charge of throwing his wife
down the stairs and breaking her leg.
Gee! Wouldn't it be a thriller to sit
in the audience entertained by a Bug
that's liable to have a brainstorm any
minute and shoot somebody?
And there are people in the world
who would be mean enough to say "I
told you so," if it happened.
They're to put a new 14-foot high
fence around Matteawan asylum.
But what they need is a 14-foot thick
fence that millions can't bore
Los Angeles councilmen may act
as censors of women's fashions this
fall. Models will parade before them
in the latest daring creations.
You'll see' a whooping old fight for
seats in that council next election.
We imagine that the thousand peo
ple who pretty nearly smothered on
subway trains of .New York during
that blockade by rain have bought
season tickets on the elevated lines.
A country couple visiting Glasgow
went to see the famous picture of the
Battle of Bannockburn. After close
ly scanning the painting for some
time, the old lady suddenly exclaim
ed to her spouse:
"Oh, John, tak' us oot o' this, for
I'm fair sick wi' the smell o' the deid
Sportsman Did you ever see such
atrocious luck? That's the fifteentli
bird I've missed today. Old Game
keeper No, sir, I think you're wrong.
It's the same bird you've been firing
at all alongt The artful old beggar's
been hanging around you for safety "3
sake. " ' '