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THAT USEFUL THOUGHT
Smlthson had been traveling all
night, jolted and jostled by the train
as it raced on its journey north.
Toward seven o'clock in the morn-
53Hng he reached his destination, and
inow, being ravenously nungry, nas-
Liened from the station to a neighbor
ing restaurant, where ne impressed
Lthe one. an.d pnly waiter then astir
his immediate need of coffee and
Btwo big boiled eggs.
IT Five minutes later this meal was
1 "But, waiter," Baid Smithsbn, as
"he glanced at the table, "why in the
vworld have you brought me three
ggs. I only ordered two."
"Oui, m'sieu," replied the waiter;
''but m'sieu he did 16ok tso hungry
that I bring dree eggs, -thinking
one might fail him." '
Hold the wipe-stained parts of
tablecloths or the napkins in boiling
: -z. f SHOOT, v
THE BOSS WHO WASN'T
Once on a time, runs a modern,
fable, a youth about to embark c l
the sea of matrimony went to his
father and said:
"Father, who "should be boss, I or
my wife1?" ' -The
old man smiled and said:
"Here are a hundred hens and a
team of horses. Hitch up the horses,
put the hens into the wagon, and,
wherever you find a man and his wife
dwelling, stop and inquire who is the,
boss. Wherever you "find a woman-
running things leave a hen. If youH
come to a place where a man is in
control, give him one of the horses."
After ninety-nine hens had been
disposed of he came to a house and
made the. usual inquiry.
"I'm. boss of this farm," said the
So the wife was called, .and she
affirmed her husband's assertion. "
"Take which horse you want."
"I'll take the bay"
But the wife did not like the b"
horse, and ta&ed to him. He return
ed and said: y.
"1 believe.I'll take the grey.?'
"Not much,", Aid the young man,
"You get a hen." -
i c. '
DOWN IN THE DEPTHS
The mermaid was ill. She sat lean
ing against a rock, unmindful of the
sand that, waff settling on her beau
tiful fail In'fact, she was' too far
gone to care about anything.
Later-, when Father Neptune can;s
along to inquire howshe felt, sta
cheered up a little.
"Oh, Father Neptune," she cried,
"could you not slip up and ask the
people on the beach if-there is a doc
tor among them?"
Neptune, only too glad to be. of use,
departed, and, was seen returning
with a young ;man of professional
The young man presented nls card;
the mermaid smiled, read it, and
TTa lyaa a nfttrflpnritgtl-. ' i