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Newspaper Page Text
HE'D HAVE TO
A clergyman decided to take up
eolf. Accordingly he bought a set of
1 clubs, etc., and took to the links. He
got a caddie to go along and tney
teed up for a drive-off.
Mentally the good man ran over
the instructions on- driving and then
took a mighty swing at the bright
new ball. He missedt a foot. Again
and again he swung until his ribs
Then, taking especial care, he"
"Crack!" went the club against the
ball and "zip!" it darted at right an
gles over the fence into a field beyond
the railway line.
"Well, I've got to give it up!" he
said with a sigh.
'What, golf?" asked the caddie.
"No the ministry!" Fun.
"Of two evils,' choose the lesser,1
says the old adage.
" 'Of two evils, choose the lesser,'
said little Benny. And that was why
he was running .down the street as
fast as his legs could carry nim; and
it was because he was running so fast
that he collided, full tilt, with the par
son as he turned the corner.
"Why all this haste, my little
man?" inquired the cleric, when he
had regained his breath. "Where are
"Home!" gasped little Benny.
"Mother's going to spank me."
"What!" gasped the parson. "Are
you so eager for your mother to
spank you that you run home?"
"No," shouted the boy over his
shoulder; "but if I don't get there be
fore pa, he'll do it!"
A young Scottish recruit was put
on "guard outside the general's tent
In the morning when the general
looked out, he said to the young Scot
in a stern voice: "Who are you?"
The young soldier, turning smartly,
replied: "Fine, sir, thanks. Hoo's
if' f BV GOLLT N
j If ( HE'S GOT A SON,
f X TOO! Jy
xThe captain's son stood on the
bridge of a 'schooner beside his
I father, on a windy night. It suddenly
.became necessary for the captain to
,'go below, and he said to the boy,
'whom he had been instructing:
"Here, take the wheel. I'll be back
soon. Steer by that star, and then
you will be all right." ""
The boy began to steer, and soon
got her out of her course. ..The star
appeared at the stern instead of the
head, and, with a feeling of pride, he
Shouted to the captain:
4'V'Come and find me another star;
3've passed thafone!" Fun.
, O 50 -
A. Husband (the father of six daugh
ters Come, 'Rosa, there Is a gentle-
Iman In theidrawlngroom who wants
to marry one of my daughters: .He
s a wine merchant. Wife A wine
merchant? Heaven be praised! Then
khe will-be sure to select one of the