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Newspaper Page Text
"4. --J -
-Tyr yt-,fW8 9r!sWfltJ
A. certain Dr. Spooner of
lophas become famous for his blunder-
ome way of mixing up words. Here
9j ax some of his weird expressions.
K jafc Can you untangle them?
jf I - j.uriuug to a young iaay sitting
'T I next to him at a dinner table, Dr.
A little later, pointing to some
ijiranberry jelly, he asked the same
young iaay to pass "tnat, sunn pun."
f Being late for dinner one evening,
iue excused nimseii, saying ne naa
Deen "natcning a pasty snipe.
To a railroad porter who asked
ahmif Vile VtacrnroryA Tia Arri-rt ant1 Vi
fchad "two rags and a bug."
-Entering the kitchen when fish
were on tne nre, ne snmea ana ex-
ilalmod "What a Tioll nf omarrinmil"
ft ' Rut tha varwat no en of nil nwiirrail
jK Ri when he was in the pulpit He an
f Sr bounced as his" text: "Many are
ft5 "called, but chew are fosen. Be ye
therefore o? the fosen chew." Cur
o o r-
Past stall after stall went the rich
merchant followed' by a footman In
smart livery. It was the occasion of
the annual village bazaar.
"Ah, Mr. Fitzbrendon," said a real
ly sweet and charming 'lady at one of
the stalls, "and whaf are you going
to buy? Dear old auntie and I are
running this table, and we have
home-made cakes, aprons, penwipers,
"Yes," said Fitz, "and I'll buy one
of each. But do you sell kisses at'
your stall?" v
"Oh, certainly!" came the ready
reply. "One dollar each!"
"Right!"' replied the autocrat,
"Then I'll take a couple, and good
"Aunt," remarked the fair and
dainty damsel, "forward, please! Two
kisses for this gentleman!"
For a moment the man of meam
was nonplussed, but only for a mo
ment. Then he turned to his foot
"James," he said coolly, "just take
this purchase, please!" London Pic
torial. o o ,
A seedy-looking man applied to the
late Mr. d'Oyly Carte, in the days of"
his management at the Savoy, for a
job. Mr. Carte was just then tryinjj
some candidates for the chorus, and,
as the man was very persistent, he
turned to the pianist 'and asked him
to play an accompaniment for him.
With some hesitation the stranger
raised his voice.
"What do you mean by this tom
foolery?" shouted Mr. d'Oyly 'Carte.
"You have the Impudence toask me
for a job?" N
"I ain't no singer," replied tho
man. "I don't want to sing. I'm a
stage carpenter, and only sane to
1 please, you