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'' ' NOT WHAT SHE. EXPECTED
"John""""she'aiked, cuddling up to
Mm, for it was the third anniversary
tpt -their marriage, "what was the
Lgappiest moment of your life?"
. "An, deaf," ne replied, "I remem
ber it well. I shall never forget it.
If I live to be a hundred years old,
that moment will always stafid out as
plainly as it 'does tonight"
She sighed,' and nestled"a little clos
$r,1aoklng longingly up into his hon
est blue'eyes; After a, moment's si-
lonrth till a iivctatl
U "Yes, but, John, dearest, you
ftaven't told me when it was."
,i "Oh," he answered, "Jthought you
had guessed it.lt was when you came
to me in the autumn, if you remem
ber, and told me that you had decided
fftb trim up one. of your, old hats so as
50 make it do for the, winter."
- Then the celebration, of the third
ahniversary-of their mrriage became
SURPRISE FOR OFFICIALDOM "
He was a postmaster, and rats in
his office were playing havoc with
registered letters, so he wrote to his
chief, and his chief wrote to his chief,
and so the matter went on, tiH about
six months later, when he was older
and greyer, he received official per
mission to keep a couple of cats and
provide for their cost in milk. For
a month all went well, but then he
was compelled to forward to head
quarters this ominous message:
. "I have the honor 0 'inform "you
that the senior cat Is absent without
leave. What shall I do?" -
The rats were busy again, and it
was impossible to wait another six
months for official directions, so he
took the matter into his own strong
hands, and a week later wrote:'
"Re absent -cat I have promoted
the junior cat, and have taken Into
government service a probationary
cat on full rations."
The high officials are still trem-
bling at his audacity.
QUITE A SLIP
Mrs. Jackson never opened her
mouth without putting her foot in
it The other day she told her daugh
ter that he intended to go and com
fort Mrs. Brown, whose husband had
committed suicide by hanging him
self in the attic of his house.
"Oh, mother," said her daughter,
"don't, go; you know you always say
the wrong thing.'
"Yefe, I must go," answered the
mother. "I will take great care and
talk only about the weather; that
will be a safe subject"
And this is how her scheme worked
"We have had very rainy weather
lately, haven't we, Mrs. Brown?"
"Yes," replied the widow. "I
haven't been able to get the week's
"Oh," put in Mrs. Jackson, "I
shouldn't think you'd have had any
trouble, you have such a fine attic
to hang things in."
(f &. .&,-'-
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