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Newspaper Page Text
1 WE THINK THESE ARE
.. . --w-r- '- i' "" -" ' "I ---,
Before him am)eared for trial a
tptough youth charged with getting
Tlrunk and firing hjB revolver in a
crowded street. "Twenty dollars and
jipste," said "the magistrate. "But,
your honor," .interposed counsel for
the prisoner, "my client did not hit
anybody." "Why, you admit that he
fired the gun?" "Yes, but he fired it
-into the air," explained the lawyer.
Twenty dollars-and costs," repeated
Jyv Juuae xae LUJgut. uuve ouut an
f, 0 0
DIDN'T KNOW HIM
A drill sergeant was drilling the
Irecruit sqned in the use of the rifle,
fjfhe recruits were instructed-to load
jeir. pieces and then the sergeant
gave iuo cumuiauu;
,"Fire at will!"
'-.Private Lunn was puzzled. He
lowered his gun.
:'WJiich one is Will?" he asked.
HURRY, NO USE
"Johnny, I doift beflevg you've
studied your geography."
"No, mum; I heard pa say the map;
of the world was changing every dayi
an' I thought I'd wait a few year
till things got settled." . . ,
"I don't want to appear boastful
said the artist, 'b'ut the beauty of my
pictures renders peopla absolutely
"Hooray!" exclaimed the weary
looking visitor, "I must-bring my wife
to see them!"
LEFT IN GOOD SHAPE
A new recruit was out for target
practice and his target seemed the
only point quite safe from his bullets.
"Great Scott! my man," said an
ofilcer, hurrying up to him. "Where)
are your shots going?"
"I don't know; sir,1' replied the man
confidently, "but they left here all
right." N. Y. World.
When Johnnie was late at school
the teacher asked him why.
"We've got a new baby at our
house," explained Johnnie, "and I had
to go for the doctor."
"That's all right," said the teacher,
adding from force of habit, "but see
that you don't let it happen again."
"Life must be pretty dull up here, "
eh?" mused the visitor in Alaska.
"Yes," replied the native, "about
all-there is to do is to fish and drink,"
"Is that so.?"
' "Yep. ,And in the winter it's too
cold to fish."
"My dear,, I saw in the papers to
day a decision of a .Virginia court
that the wife may, in some cases, be
the head of the family.
"John Henry, the. courts are very
slow in finding out things 1" Puck.
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