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Newspaper Page Text
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THE MISSING TREASURE
Mr. Tlmmins considered himself
e ."ideal husband." Mrs. Timmins
didn't agree with him. The trouble
JSras'that her husband had an entirely
ixaggerated idea of his capabilities
"TIT run the house in his spare time!
" One'morning, just as he was leav
ing for the city, a large female sailed
up to the front door. Mr. Timmins
L informed his wife that this was a new
cook he had engaged the previous
Wheh'he arrived home in the even
ing he found his wife peacefully read
ing a magazine, and exclaimed:
-"There, my dear! See what a
messing it is to have a capable hus-
ijand! Here you are able to read a
4jiook while the cook does the work.
No fuss, no worry! And how quiet
she isf No one could tell she was in
"She isn't!" she said. "She left
In a Tennessee backwoods lived -farmer
who, although he had new
seen a railroad, yet had his opinion of
them and the mischief which he un
derstood they might cause. '
Great, then, was his consternation
upon learning that a right of way
for a railroad was wanted through
his farm. Finally, land enough for
the purpose was secured and the road
The day the first train was to pass
the neighbors persuaded him to go
with them to see it. As the train dis
appeared someone said:
"You see, Bill, it didn't hurt any
thing after all."
Bill was surprised, but hated to
abandon his contention that a train
would ruin things. .
"Waal, yaas," he said. "I refikon
that ye mought say so, but ye see
the goshdurned thing" come through
here endways. Ef it had come side
ways it would ha' busted' the de
lights outer every cow on the plac."
SAVING THE SITUATION
It is, say the philosophers, during
the second year of married life, when
the glamour of newness is wearing
off, that danger arises. The man then
begins to settle down; but the woman
is by nature retrospective! '
Much tact, therefore, is needed to
harmonize the present with the pent.
Fortunately, little Jenkins w
"Jack," said his wife to him o. 3
day,, "I don't believe you love me any
more at any rate, nothing like so
much as once you did." - v
"Nonsense, dear!" replied the hus
band, in a caressing, soothing voice.
"Oh, I don't know." A pause.
"Lots of little ways." Another pause?
"Why do you always let me get vj
and light the fire now?"
"Because, darling, being able to
come down to a nice warm room al
ways makes me love you more.'' (