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Newspaper Page Text
J' DECEIVED ME I HAF
WSAINED Zq FOUNDS?
A SOLID REASON
A noted Sunday school worker liv
ing In Kansas was once asked to talk
to the children of a Sunday school
on the subject of temperance. He is
very earnest in the cause and wears a
.bit of blue ribbon as a badge of his
Bnrlnciples. Rising before the school,
ie pointed to his bit of blue ribbon
nd said: "Now can any of you chil-
j&kdren give me a reason why I am not
sSThera was no renlv for a moment.
P&hen a childish little voice in the rear
&f the room piped out: " 'Cause this
res a prohibition town." Youth's
JtlST AS GOOD
"Docther, I'm suffering from the
"Well, Pat, just put a muBtard
ster on your chest."
trJ-'Sure; and I aint' got a chest, but
I will me little box do?" .
A BITTER PILL
Jones was a commercial travel",
and he had been after a large ore" -from
an important firm in the Nortli.
Great, therefore, was his exaltation
when, one morning, he beheld a lette
from the firm in question lying on his
desk. And better still, it was written
in the hand of the senior partner!
Unfortunately the big man was
notorious for the illegibility of his
handwriting, and the wretched Jones
discovered that he was unable to
make anything out of the letter at alL
He was getting desperate, when he
remembered that druggists are usu
ally able to read even the worst writ
ing. Without loss of time he repaired
to the nearest druggist's, and en
tered. "I should be very grateful if you
would read this for me,'' he said to
the druggist, handing him the letter,
"With pleasure!" said the drug
gist, aad retired to the back of the
shop with the letter. He returned ii
a short time carrying a very 8m
parcel wrapped in white paper.
"Here's your medicine, sir!" L:
said. "That will be 50 cents. Take U
just before going to bed!"
"I understand-her husband is a
"Yes. And it's great for her peo
ple." "I suppose they get passes to all
"No. It isn't that. But every time
they haven't anything to do one ct
her relatives says: 'Let's go out to
the ball park this afternoon and roast
"Didn't Oliver Goldsmith once live
here?"-asked the tourist.
"I don't remember the name," said
the janitor. "Who was the gent?"
"He was a poet."
"Then it's hardly likely that he
ever -lived here, sir. We always de
mand the rent In. advance."
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