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Newspaper Page Text
Doggone It, misfortunes never do
come singly. The state has turned
44 new lawyers loose on Chicago.
That means a heap of trouble for
somebody in the future.
Even if lawyers are a necessary
evil .there's no sense in getting 'em
so many in a bunch.
Sir Joseph Beecham, the English
pill peddler, is in town. Joe made the
Tnb feel good by telling hiw he had
spent $5,000,000 in newspaper adver
tising in five years.
Sir Joe's father started the pill
game and the family has been pump
ing pills into Johnny Bull for lo these
Jhey are not the kind of pills our
revolutionary ancestors pumped into
Englishman at Lexington and Con
cord, but they make our British
cousins jump just the same.
And probably out of gratitude of
Britain's glad heart and empty
bowels, they knighted Pill Peddler
Beecham for his service to humanity.
Herm Kohlsaat is now in his ele
ment He is fighting women for not
being for Puterbaugh. Brave lad,
Herm. Go to it.
The Chicago newspaper trust, and
particularly Willie the Hearst, got
another black eye when John Walker
was elected president of the Illinois
Federation of Labor.
And the Hearst papers are still on
the unfair list of both the Illinois
and Chicago Federations of Labor.
Hearst bit off more than ha could
chew when he started into mop up
the state with organized labor.
The thing is now the other way
around, with Hearst being used as
If the Tribune had half of the pa
triotism and one-tenth of the courage
of Mrs. Medill McCormlck it might
jeally be a great newspaper.
We haven't yet heard of any of the
McCormick or Patterson heirs who
would make as good a manager of
the Trib as Ruth Hanna McCormick.
She gave another exhibition of
fearlessness whenshe took up the
fight for the department store clerks.
And we hope she will never quit
that fight until the clerks in Chicago
department stores get a living wage.
C. Marconi narrowly escaped in
jury at Bologna, Italy, in auto acci
dent. Second accident he's been in
in a few months.
Chicago is bad enough in the auto
smash-up game. The question arises
And the office boy says, "Id hate to
be a liver down there."
An American and a German were
arguing about their different navies.
"Oh," said the German, "there is
always something the matter with
your navy. Only yesterday a battle
ship was fast in the mud."
"Well," said the American, "if a
battleship is fast in the mud it would
be a record-breaker in the open sea." '
The life of an average horse in
bondage is twenty-five years; the
wild horse's age is about thirty-eieh