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Z& VtitCsTM&- VGT'S 3MSV
HE NEW ALPINE WITH TflE
FINALLY gOT IT
It3was evening? A stranger ap
proached the cyclist ,
' "Sir,' said he, ""your beacon, has
ceased its-function" , -
"Sir?" " J
' "Your llluminatorrl say, is shroud
ed in-unmitigated oblivion."
,"But,TeaUft t don't quite"
"The effulgence of your irradiator
has evanesced." . "" -.,
ydear,feliowl f r
in ypw incandescenser have been
3ust theft a boyshouted; "Hi, mis
ter, your lamp's Out" ,'
i Ami the cyclist understood.
i -o pi v
One day MarkTvain ytaa being
shaved by a,.verytalkative barber,
nd when in the course of business
the barber asked, "Shall I go xver It
sir?" the .humorist replied,.
Lllfa;r.thanks. JCs" scarcely necessary.
tmnxu can jememDei; evry wora: '
-a cheap Deputation
Jerhoneshad. gone, through a cp
respondence course in "How to MaLi
a Portuqe in Sbt Months," and- was
doing his best to put the theoretical
knowledge thus acquired into prac
tice. " .
He had started a small shopj in
the cheap clock and jewelry line, in
his native town and, though he was
not exactly crowded out by, custom
ers, he hoped for the best
One day old Mr. Bumpus puffed
into the shop and asked the price of
alarm clocks. N i
"One dollar sir, to you," answered
"A dollar? Then, why did-vypu
charge "my son two dpilars for bne
"Aha, that's a trick of 'the trade "
said Jerlumes, with dxknowlng look.
"But you and I are old friends, so I
don't mind telling you, "You see,the
e eat thing in this Idnd of business
to get a reputation for cheapnerl,
and that ,1s what I am aiming at Co
when I have those alarm clocks it
stock I charge two dollars for them,
but whenf as at present, I have't
got any, I say the price is a dollaiv
In that way 1 ge(t a reputation ior
being .cheap without losmg anything
myself see?", ' S
o-i-o r .
Professor I read ih.a newspaper
that there are some remarkable spec
imens of petrified wood in this neigh
borhood. Can you tell me where they
are to be found? f l
Resident EPm! Lemme see! "Vhat
Professor Natural growth turned
Professor Hard as rock.
Resident Won't burn, eh? :-
Professor That's the Jdndf
HeBident Go down to the nest
corner, sir; and turn., to your right
A little way on you'll see a firewood
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