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23&I ARE GETTING-IT. NoW VEM I
" Vrtll "BEMO TORVART
5gfEFULL.V UKE A.BUJEB1RD PICKING
VOKM. ONEtIWQi ONt-lWO
n THE NEW -MAN
'3J!A hunyJcaD for a floral piece for
,'a? uneral -was telephoned to a florist
with instructions;, to make wreath
th the following inscription: "itest
l peace," on one Mde, and, if there
as room, "We shall meet in
ieaVen." Theflorist'.was away and
new assistant sent .a floral, piece
g the; fallowing startling n-
scription: "Rsstin peace on one side
ghji.lf therms i& room we, will meet in
savenr Lippihcotts. . . -
, - v rt:
WHAT DiD HE MEAN?
During an- election In America a
young man shouted put, "Hurrah for
Jackson!"' " "Pi .' -
'An old man who -was present, in
tending to puf iW down, exclaimed,
Hurrah for -a JacK-ass!"
"All .righty" Said the young man.
"we shall notqifaixel over such" small
atters. You can hurrah for your
.vofite candidate, nd I shall do the
same for.mhWj . . , ,
Patrick had spent many weary
nights writing a. long and ferver.t
epistle to his latest sweetheart Whea
at last it was finished it made a bulky
package, the sight of which filled
Patrick's soul with pride.
Carefully affixing a penny stamp,
he hore his precious document to the
postoffice and handed it to, the man
behind the counter. He wasn't go
ing to drop that letter in an ordinary
letter-box, not he!
The clerk picked it up and put it,
oh the scales.
"Here," he cried, calling Patrick
back, 'your letter is overweight !' ,
"Wat d'ye mean? Over what
"I mean it's too heavy. You will
have to put another stamp on it"
"Oh, be quiet with your nonsense,"
said Patrick condescendingly. "Sure,
if I pui another stamp on, hat will
only make It heavier still!"
UNDER FALSE COllORS .
She had 'been to a bridge party n
the previous night, and to her de
voted husband it seemed more than
likely that she had had more than
ordinary bad luck: -At any rate,
breakfast'' next hiorning found her
silent and depressed.
"Have a bad time last night?"
queried the htiBband at last, nervous
ly fingering his checkbook the while.
"Awful!" she snapped, as she be
headed ah egg; ,"And it was your
"My fault?" he gasped. "Why, yc
know I wasn't playing."
"No, but you introduced me to that
man whom you said was a famorfs
bridge expert, and"
' "Well, so he is, my dear!"
"Nonsense; he's nothing of the
kind. He's only an engineer!"
o o f
"Yes," said the merchant, "I want
a good, bright boy, to be partly in
doors arid partly outdoors." "That's
all right, but what becomes of me
When the'door slams?"
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