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Newspaper Page Text
- She was one of those curious peo
ple who "enjoy bad health." Her con
versation consisted solely of long
speeches on diets, pains, exercises,
medicines and doctors. She could
jms get quite excimu over me uisuuvery
PW of some new, and more than usually-
unpleasant, kind of bread.
One day a friend called on her and
was surprised to find herindul'-'ng in
a hearty manner in a large rd civ
Said the friend, "Why this is splen
did! You must be feeling a lot bet
ter at last!"
"Ah, poor me poor me!" sighed
the old lady, helping herself to more
lobster salad. "I always feel so un
happy when I'm not ill, because I
know when I am well that I am going
to feel so much worse afterwards!"
Jr" o o
"Have the Jmxes a family skele
ton?" "Yes; and she's wearing one
of these silhouette gowns, too."
WHAT HE KNEW
On the bridge stood the pilot, silent
and motionless. A heavy fog was
driving up-channel, and he needed all
his knowledge and presence of mind. '
"Unfortunately, the chairman of the
line happened to be a passenger that
trip, and he was a fussy, frightened
Taking advantage of his position
to ignore rules and etiquette he in
sisted on going on to the bridge and
worrying the pilot with his silly ques
tions. "Of course you are acquainted with
all the dangerous spots in the chan
nel?" "he inquired, with pompous
The pilot's glance never wavered
from the fog ahead.
"No!" said he.
"Good gracious, man! Then what
do you mean by passing yourself of?
as a pilot? You may drown us all!
What do you know, for goodness
"Well, I know where the danger-
t spots, as you call 'em, iaren'tj
v run away!"
MORE MEALS DEMANDED
Little Edgar was a sore trial to his
mother, for he had acquired the habit
a habit shared among the majority
of small boys of continually "stuff
ing" between meals; and neither
punishment, it seemed, nor remon
strance could cure him of it.
. One morning the family doctcjr
happened to be visiting the house.
So file mother availed herself of the
opportunity to consult him on little
"What can I do," seh asked, "to
make him give up the habit of eating
The man of medicine glanced at
the little chap contemplatively, but
before he could formulate an answer,
the lad himself prescribed a simple
"Have the meals thicker togewer,"
he said. Then,-taking a biscuit from
J his pocket, he began to munch Jtj '