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NO HOPE
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. Sea1 Sea everywhere, as the great
Lliper made her powerful course over
the Atlantic.
- "Oh, captain," came a disconsolate
groan from a seasick passenger, half
.reeling jn a deck-chair, "how far are
wft nff land?"
M No answer came to this remark,
wiuuu uou ueeii reuerateu several
times that day.
"Oh, captain, do answer me how
far?"
"Mile and "a half," came the gruff
reply.
"Thank Heaven! In what direction,
captain?"
S. A twinkle came for a moment into
the eye of the brusque old sea-dog.
f "Straight down!" he grunted.
"Enjoy your motor trip in the
mountains?"
"No. Twenty miles from nowhere
I Tan over a skunk, and a few rods
further on I ran over a porcupine and
punctured three tires!" Judge.
! !
a' T 1
t J ( 6WCMECHAJU )
n
SOON CONE
They had not met for a long time
and had suddenly ran across each
other in town. As the meeting had
taken place about the witching hour
of lunch time a chop had been
simultaneously suggested.
Behold them seated opposite each
other over a friendly meal, in a quiet
corner of a restaurant.
"By the way, old fellow," Baid
Binks, "do you remember borrowing
half a dollar from me last time we
met, about four years ago?
"Good gracious me!" said Dinks, in
great distress. "Now you remind me
of it, I do!"
"Well, it's a long time ago, old man,
and you told me at the time that you
only wanted it for a very little while!""
"And I jolly well spoke the truth!"
said Dinks, brightening. "I only kept
it for about twenty minutes!"
o o
HE USED IT
A 'girl lost her bracelet, and ad
vertised a liberal reward for its re
covery. About a week later a coarse-
looking man called at her residence
with the missing trinket. In spite of
the rough treatment it had received
she recognized it at once, and asked
rather sharply:
"How came you to get It all
scratched and dented in n fash
ion?" "Well, miss," explained the man,
"you see, I had no gal of my own, so
I used it for a dog-collar."
SHE WAS SHY
After preaching a sermon on the
fate of the wicked, an English clergy
man met an old woman well known,
for her gossiping propensities, and he
said:
"I hope my sermon has borne-fruit
You heard about the place where I
said there shall be wailing and
gnashing of teeth?"
"Well, as ta that," answered the
lady, "if I has anything to say, it htf
this: Let them gnash teeth as has
'em I ain't",
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