Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1836-1922 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
7- -"-t-ML ii'rrT Jij"'r1ifipyir-r3fl,-"W-"f '"-1 -TSgfll-i -'--" --, -ivt. T -
J H&DID IT
, "Can you build a stack7" said the
farmer to a laborer who wanted a
3- Sure I can. I can build a stack the
shape of an egg."
"When the stack was hearty com
pleted, the bottom Bhot out and the
inftarik came to the ground aB flat as
z -a pancake.
I "I thought you said you could build
a stacK tne snape 01 an egg," saia
"So I did. But I didn't Bay whether
it was a boiled egg or a fried one."
- -At a fashionable dinner party, aft
er the ladies returned to the drawing
room, the hostess, in a very decollete
I dress and wearing magnificent jew
els, leaned back in her chair and
shiyered slightly. A footman went in
seafch Of the lady's maid. "Parker,"
Mid the lady, with languid magnlfl
Icence, "I feel chilly; bring hie an
other diamond necklace."
i' f AcH-
Wl i ( MORELESE )
S I MA3ESTEJ
Willie finally persuaded his aunt ' :
play train with him. The chairs we 3
arranged in line, and he issued or
ders: "Now you be the engineer and l'l
be the conductor. Lend me your
watch and get up 'into your cab."
Then he hujrrled down the platform,
timepiece in hand. -"Pull out there,
you red-headed, pie-faced jay!" he
"Why, Willie!" Jiis aunt exclaimed
"That's right, chew the rag!" he
retorted. "Pull out! We're five min
utes late already."
They have had to forbid his play
ing down by the tracks. Every
THE WAY OF IT
"I want to insert a big advertise
ment in your paper," said a business
like gentleman bustling into a news
paper editorial sanctum. "It's abo-1
a fine new brand of whisky."
"Certainly, sir' cried the edit.-
springing to his feet and rubbing h
hands. "Excuse me a moment," and
he went to the speaking-tube and said
to the foreman-compositor, In a whis
"You need not set that editorial of
mine on "The. Curse of Drink' this
Smith Who was that man
-just nodded to you?
Jones That was Dobsoh, t3
Smith A composer, did you say?
Jones Yes; he manufactures
MATERIAL ON HAND
Alice, aged five, was helping her
mother dust the dr&wingroom. Sho
Was hidden beneath the piano- whci
her mother heard her exclaim:
"Oh, mother, there's enough dust
under here for God to make a man!"