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JUST PUNISHMENT
s After an hour's hard bargaining
and prevarication the musical-instrument
dealer succeeded in disposing of
the cheap old cornet, which he had
pf i had in stock for years, at four times
its proper value.
"And where may I have the pleas
ure of sending it?" he inquired in-
Jratiatingly, now that the customer
rat last had given in.
"To 999 Fig street, came the re
"ply. "My fiat is on the third floor."
, The tradesman's brow darkened:
Tias, iaw fell perceptibly. And why?
TBecause only on the preceding: dav
!'3je, his wife and family had taken
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foor of 999 Pig street on a three-
ars agreement.
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UP-TO-DATE
"Waiter, there's sand on this
$read."
-"That's to keep the butter from
dipping off, sir." Life. -
HIS POINT OF VIEW
Mr. and Mrs. Jones were very
proud and fond of their chickens.
Great, therefore, was their conster
nation when, on coming down the
other morning for their breakfast
eggs, they noticed that a favorite hen
was missing.
"It must have been stolen," said
Joijes. Just then he observed Brown
next door digging in his garden.
Brown, who was a man of few
words, was usually in bed at thi3
hour, so Jones put his head over the
wall.
"Good morning! What are you
working at so early in the day?" he
asked suspiciously.
"Planting."
"Planting what?" persisted Jones.
"Seeds," said Brown.
There was a snort from Jones, who
had suddenly seen something.
"Seeds?" he shouted. "Why, that's
one of my fowls you're burying, you
scoundrel!"
"That's, all right seeds inside!'
said the laconic Brown, as he resum
ed his digging.
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SHE KNEW
It was young Mrs. Robinson's first
dinner party, and she was suffering
all the usual terrors of the inexperi
enced hostess.
However, the cook rose to the oc
casion splendidly, and, so far as the
dinner itself was concerned, Mrs.
Robinson was delighted.
The only fly in the ointment, so to
speak, was Jane. Jane was the new
parlor maid; she was slow, clumsy,
and her waiting was bad. But, In ad
dition to these faults, she insisted on
keeping her mouth wide -open.
This so got on Mrs. Robinson's
nerves that at last she exclaimed:
"Jane, your mouth is wide open!"
Jane withdrew her gaze from the
ceiling, and said, looking down with
a cheery smile:
"I know it is, ma'am; I opened it
myself!"
Ami
