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Newspaper Page Text
He had just asked her for the
-honor of becoming her second hus
band, and was waiting herTeply. She
'looked at him in what, poor fool, he
-took to be a favorable manner, so he
once more broke into speech. .
' "I think I can make you happy,"
'he said. "I am well off, and have sole
control of .a flourishing business. I
am certain we should get on famous-
MXj together. I"
Hr "Have vou ever been in the armv?"
jTl'i t-J i- !J
.mierrupiu me wiuuw.
"Why no! I have devoted my life
i to governing and increasing my busi
: "Nor the militia?"
"No, of course not! That doesn't
matter, does it?"
"Yes, I am sorry to say it does.
I have quite decided that if ever I
marry again my husband must have
V .had a military training."
''So that he will understand how to
j HERe, Adojjf T
IVV SHOOT ME! J
1 do what he is told without any back
talk; that's why!"
QUESTION AND ANSWER
There was a new postmaster at
Puddleton, and he was not having a
very happy time. Most of the farmers
living in the neighborhood were in
the habit of calling for their letters,
and the unfortunate postnuter
found himself besieged by a crowd of
burly, bawling men, all demanding
letters at thefeame time.
At last one strode in who was bur
lier than the rest, and who -shouted,
with a voice of thunder:
"Have you got any tetters-for Mike
"For who?" bawled the perspiring
"Mike Howe, I said!" bawled the
farmer, louder than ever. "Don't you
know your job, or can't you speak
English? Have you any letters for
Mike Howe? Now do v you under
stand?" The postmaster took his -glass -3
"No, I have not," he snorted;
"neither for your cow, nor anyone
A WELCOME CHANCE
"Before you take this house," said
the honest real estate agent, "I wish
to tell you something that is against
"What's that?" asked" Hemman.1
haw. "It's right" next to a boiler shor "
As he took out his wallet to makj
the first payment, Hemmandhaw re
plied. "Oh, that's all right! The family
next to where we now live has a par
rot, a phonograph and a pair of
"And, pray, why don't you put new
buttons on my shirts?" asked- a
actor of his landlady. "Sure, sir, be
cause it's meself was thinking ye'd
be after needin' new shirts on the
11 1 ii hi iiini ill 11 -m--- -j-r-Ba