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Newspaper Page Text
I i'dp't lilt the pne last night, L '"Q of those Brisbaney edi
torials in the Chicago American the kind that tells you what a lovely time
everybody will have here on earth a few hundred years from now. Here's
the dopey part of it:
"Men have gathered in cities because walking is painful and travel is
slow. Human beings now living will see the workers of the humble kind
travel a hundred miles in twenty-five minutes or less, from their little
houses and their little patch of ground, to the big Industrial bee-hive or
city in which their work is done. The city will be a building perhaps a mile
-r more high, with landings at various altitudes.
"They will see the day when all men and women will go to their work
through the roof instead of from the ground floor.
"The high hills now abandoned will be covered then with individual
palaces and model apartment houses.
"The city, with its dirty, dusty, filthy, crowded streets, will vanish, and
in a material way civilization will begin.
"If you want to make money for your great-great-grandchildren buy
a hilltop cheap. They will be choice real estate before very long."
Isn't that nice? -
But Hearst and Brisbane always were good to the workingman. Now
they are going to give each worker a flying machine, a nice house and lo.t
a mile high, where the family can sit out on the front porch above the
clouds during a big rainstorm and not get their feet wet.
It would be lots more convenient, however, if the generous editor would
supply all of us with wings instead of flying machines, for then we wouldn'
worry about running out of gasoline, and could fly around over the clouds
wherever we darned pleased.
Anyhow, we'll need wings when this dream comes true, because all of
us will be angels, and angels can't get along any too well without wings. I
never met any of those regular angels, but all I ever saw in the story books
.had regular wings.
Wings would come in very handy in more ways than one. For instance,
I after a bricklayer had dropped down to earth from his mile-high palace, he
J wouldn't have to stand on a measly old platform to lay bricks. He could
, just stand around in the circumambient air and paddle the atmosphere with
1 his feet.
Did YOU ever sit in the back end of a row boat, with your pants rolled
up to your knees and paddle your feet in the water while somebody else did
the rowing? This question only goes for men, of course.
Well, just imagine yourself dangling comfortably in the nice, pure air
on a windy day, and paddling in it with your feet Wouldn't that be lovely?
But it won't happen right away. Not for a few weeks yet. And, in
the meantime, what are we going to do? Isn't there any way Brisbane can
supply every workingman with an automobile while we, are waiting for
those high hilltop homes and the flying machines?
Then workingmen can enjoy some of the pleasures now denied 'them.
For example, they could scoot along the avenues, knock somebody head
over heels and go merrily on their way.
That hilltop palace thing will be fine for the great-great-grandchildren,
Arthur, but gee whiz, man, why must we wait so long after we're dead?
I'll bet there are thousands of girls right here in Chicago who will sell
their chance in a hilltop palace a few hundred years from now for a three-dollar-a-week
raise in wages NOW.
And there are hundreds of thousands of men and women who would