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Newspaper Page Text
No, I can.'t," the woman admitted.
"If I could I wodldn't be here."
"Well, we'll get one for you," he
When her relatives arrived she was
carried out to a waiting ambulance
and she was taken home virtually
kicked out of our supposed hospital
for the worthy poor.
Probably some human commis
sioner will take this case up at the
board meeting this afternoon. If
some one should, he will render a
Commissioner Ragen yesterday
made the charge that firemen injured
on duty were refused admission to
the County Hospital. This accusa
tion will probably be thrashed out by
THE SMALL-TIME MINSTRELS
"Ah undahstands yo' done up an'
went an' adopted a dawg, Mistah
Huckleberry. Am -dat dah a f ac' ? "
"Yas, Mistah Persimmons. Yo' in
formation am prezactly correc'."
"Aain't yo' foolish to go an' add a
dawg to yo' fambly? Yo' ain't got
enough to feed yo' fambly."
"Naw, Ah got enough to feed de
dawg. No use wastin' dat, is dey?"
"But look at de affection yo' am
wastin' on dat dawg. A dawg kain't
repay de kindness yo' am lavishin'
"Don't yo' nebber believe dat. Ah
kin hab anyfing dat dawg hab got."
"Well, yo wants to bekeerful den
he hab got de mange."
"Yo, gittin' too antimagoovious in
yo' remahks, Ah'U hab yo' unndah
stan' Ah moves in de highes' society."
"Well, ef yo' trabbles in sech swell
company, Ah supposes yo' wuz pres
ent at dat $150,000 meat packers'
"Ah sho'ly wuz. Ah sho'ly wuz
present at dat dah banquit."
"What table did yo' wait on?"
Durin' de clinch, date latest instru
mental novelty entitled "Tanglefoot
Tang," will be played sof'ly by de
WHO'S WHO IN THE
Always carries a cane, though no
one has ever seen him limp.
Some say he wears a monocle, but
we never saw it!
Could tell you a whole hourfull of
exciting incidents in his career, but
you'll have to tease him just a little.
Thinks New Rochelle is a perfectly
good place and rather enjoys the dis
tinction of living 45 minutes froni
He's a comer and you know it.
PLENTY OF IT
The father of a Denver bride pre
sented his son-in-law with 80,000
head of cattle.
"Papa, dear," exclaimed his daugh
ter, fresh from an Eastern college,
when she heard of it, "that was so
kind of you. Charley's awfully fond
of ox-tail soup." Top-Nitch.
In 1850 only one woman worked
for wages to every ten men; now the
ia.cio is one woman to four men.
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