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Newspaper Page Text
J 2 MSAQK
OF COURSE I HAFMT60T3O0O.
BUT EFEVCR 3 SHOOUT NOT HAF
&HCOO' 1 WOOLT BE SIO OUT OF
POCWET BY NOT BEING
MARtaeD. UND $10 ISS A LOT
NOT A SECRETARY
Sam had worked on the farm for
nine years, and until his master took
vto poultry-farming he was quite sat
isfied with life.
But this poultry business was a bit
too much. He had to take the eggs
as they were laid and write the date
on them with an indelible pencil. And
worse than that, he had also tTwrite
on the eggs the breed of the hen that
So one day he marched up to the
"I'm about tired," said he, "and
I'm going to leave!"
The farmer was astounded.
r" "Surely, Sam," said he, "you're
:not going to leaye me after all these
p"Yes, but I am," retorted Sam.
'Tve done every kind of rotten job
on tnis nere iarm, dul i q rainer
"giEarve than go on being secretary to
L. 1 yur
WAS HE "FIRED"?
Though a benevolent old gentle
and a kind employer, Mr. Jones de
cided that, so far as his office-boy,
Alexander Kaldwin, was concerned,
the limit of his patience had been
The boy must be "fired."
He had arrived a quai.ar of an
hour late yesterday, ten minutes late
the day before, and this morning
Mr. Jones glanced at the office clock
the lad was already twenty minutes
Precisely nine minutes later he en
tered the office in the quiet, unobtru
sive manner of one prepared for trou
ble. A horrid silence ensued. Then:
"And what excuse have you .got
this morning?" demanded Mr. Jones
in the fiercest voice that he could
"The er ice on the pavements,
sir!" stammered Master Alexander.
"It er every step I er toot I
er slipped back two."
Mr. Jones glared at the lad.
"Indeed!" he remarked, with calm
deliberation. "Then, pray, how did
you get here at all?"
"Never thought I should, sir," re
plied the incorrigible one, suddenly
and happily inspired "that is, till I
decided to turn back home!"
ON THE BOTTLE
Two doctors were having a holiday,
and were amusing themselves by
They had fished for some time,
when one of the dootors lost the
sinker off his line. Being a man of
some resource and an old fisherman,
he quickly filled a bottle with water
and tied it to the end of his line in
place of the lost lead.
After a few seconds he felt a hard
bite, and, on pulling up his linefound
a large fish on each of the two hooks.
"Hallo!" said his friend. "Twins
this time, old man."
''Yes," rejoined the other; "anc
brought up on the bottle, too!'"'