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Newspaper Page Text
ig'ia jfr'H !ly gHMSljtEV"?'t3g
VON OF "OEM CONNECTED NT
"PER BAUb. UNFORTUNATELY
HE PUNTED ITPFWUeH A
VINDOW OF N)R.PILSNEE S J&
k e:r x ?
NO REPLY NEEDED
uauy iu uiik 10 you on tne 'pnone,
sir!" said an official bov to tha KAnfnr
-partner of the firm that employ him.
ine senior nartner took un th ta-
ceiver and stood at the 'nhnn fnv
.several minutes. Then he laid the re
ceiver down and went back to his
desk. Twenty minutes later he rais
edthe receiver, said a few words, and
.presently hung it up. "It was my
wife," he explained to his-partner.
"She was still talking and hadn't
A Scotchman had the misfortune'
rp get arrested and sentenced. He
was given a bucket of water, a brush,
apd a cake ofoap, and told to wash
hd cell. Rnmp tme latav tha nrnn.
came in and saw the nrisniiar cHrinn.
himself a thorough scouring. "Here!"
he cried, "what are you doing?
Didn't I tell-you to wash your cell?"
"Ay, an' am I no' washln' masel'?"
asked the surprised offender.
He was rather a. pathetic figure.
He had the soul of a real man, but
was afflicted with one of those faces
the appearance and color of which
clash with all but the most subdued
fashions and shades.
His hair, too, was of that violent
red that overwhelms the brightest
specimens of neckwear even the
ones that are ornamented .with
water-color paintings pt dancing la
dies. Yet he was a gallant youth withal.
One afternoon he sallied forth to call
on a neighboring damsel, and whilst
waiting for her to appear was enter
tained in the drawingroom by her 8-year-old
"Well," said our hero, smiling, "and
what do you think of me, Horace?"
Horace scrutinized the young man
carefully, but maintained a discreet
"Aren't you going to say, Horace?"
,"No," answered Horatio stoutly.
"Do you think I want to get a Hck-
0 0 X&M
CHEAP AT THE PRICE
A woman, standing in a crowded
street car and feeling very Indignant
with the unchlvalrous men who did
not offer her a seat, expressed her
indignation loudly to her husband.
"If you, James, should ever be pig
gish enough to sit down when there
was a woman in the car standing
I would never Bpeak to you again as
long as I live!" One of the seated
men looked up. "Lucky fellow!" he
said. JINot many of us could pur
chase peace at that price!"
TO BE EXACT
Judge How did you get that aw
ful bump on your head?
Umson Family quarrel,' -your
Judge Hit by a piece of bric-a-brac?
Umson Not the brack your hon
or; just the brick. Judge.
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