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Newspaper Page Text
JU - '
it fell near er
full-bock, schneider .
"fall on it, schneider," 1
Hollered, "Fall on it
HELPfNa HIM OUT
Conversationung fire badly. There
were several matters -which the
young man wishedto discuss one In
particular; -but somehow he could
not muster the neceBsary courage,
and the silence became really painful.
"I was speaking with Qur father
last night," he said at last, sbmewh&t
inanely. " '
"Oh, were you?" answered NUie
sweet young thing, lowering her
eyes. "Er what were you er
"About the likelihood of war in
Mexico. Your father said that if
there was fighting be hoped it would
soon be over."
The sweet young thing smiled. .
"Yes," she remarked; "I know he,'s
very much opposed to long engage
Patient No, your
Everything depended on the tes
timony of one particular witness, and
of this the barrister was duly con
scious. , "Now," he said, shaking a finger
warningly, "we want to hear just
what you know npt what you think,
not what you've eard, or what
spmeone else knowsj but just what
you yourself 'know. t)o you under
stand?" The witness brightened visibly, and
by a happy smile showed that he fully
"Well, sir," he began, "it was like
this 'ere. Old Bill Orubbs said to me
that Thomas John's wife at any
rate, so he heard from Tom Payne
told Sid Lewis best girl that her hus
band" The witness got no further. For a
minute it seemed that nothing could
save the judge from'an apoplectic fit.
Happily he just managed to control
himself. The witness was ordered to
stand down, and the case proceeded
A FINAL FAREWELL
A Frenchman, staying at a London!
hotel, when presented with his bill
paid it without formal protest, but
was most indignant at its amount.
"I vish to see ze proprietaire," he said
to;the clerk. In a minute the pro
prietor appeared. The Frenchman
was all smiles. "Ah!" he exclaimed.
"I must embrace you!" "But why
should you wish to embrace me, sir?"
asked the astonished hotelkeeper. "I
do not understand." "Look at zees
ibjll !" "Yes ; your receipted bilL What
QfvitV" "Wnat-or it? simply zees,
zaire; it means zat I shall nevaire, no
nevahre, zee you again!"
Private Jimson was relating his ex
periences of the Ber war. He said
he was, once taken prisoner, and the
Boers stripped him of all his cloth
ing. "Did you feel the cold much?"
asked a pal. "No," replied Jimson.
hot at all. You see. they carefully
"Covered me with their rifles,"
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