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YET,ER VAV IT READS HON.
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LANGUAGE ISS VERY HIGHBROW
,WNO DOT'S AlAAYS SOSPICIOUS.
1 VONDCI? EF A CtAIRVDyANT
COUUT B0P6 IT CUT f
HE SPOKE CORRECTLY
A celebrated Irish counsel, as re
markable for his brogue as for his
bons mots, being, retained against a
young officer, opened the case in the
following: manner: "Mv lord. I am
"counsel for the Crown, and I am first
i"to acquaint your lordship that this
soldier "Stop, sir!" said the mul
ctary hero. "I would have you know,
ir, I am an officer!" "Oh, sir, I beg
your pardon!" said counsel. "To
speak more correctly, this officer,
who is no soldier!"
o o
Cycling up a very slight incline, a
youth overtook an old countryman
who was working Jiard on an ancient
Ibicycle. As he passed him the young
cyclist noticed that he had his brake
rmly pressed on the wheel. Think
ing he was unaware of this, he called
his attention to the fact, when, to his
surprise and amusement, the old man
Tepnea, "i Knows, out i oe atearea of
the thing goin.' backwards!"
MISTAKEN KINDNESS
All was quiet within the hou-.
The servants long ago had gone 1 "
bed; and the doctor sat alone in his
study, writing" busily. Presently, a",
the clock on the mantelshelf chimed
the witching hour of midnight, he
laid aside pens and papers, and pre
pared to go up stairs.
Just then began a furious ringing
of the front door bell. With a weary
sigh, the doctor moved to the door,
and there, standing on the steps,
found a man carrying a large paper
parcel.
"I'm sorry to disturb you at this
hour," said the man, "but is Matilda,
the cook, at home?"
"Yes," returned the doctor, "but
she's in bed." i
"Ah ! Then I wonder May I leave
this parcel for her?"
"Certainly," replied the doctor.
Whereupon he took the parcel,
from which protruded a profusion of
buds and flowers, bade the man goj'l
night, and then carried the packaj
to the kitchen, where being a Mr. .-
ly soul he deposited it, paper auJ
all, in a pan of water.
This done, he thought no more of
the affair until the following morn
ing, when he heard Matilda's voice
raised in conversation with the
housemaid.
"If I could find the person," the
cook was saying, "who put my new
hat in this here dishpan "
But the doctor did not wait to hear
more. Hurriedly he set out upon fc'3
round.
LOOKING AHEAD
Nora (aged 8, to Edith, aged 10)
What! A big girl like you playing
with a Teddy bear? Edith Yes,
haven't you got one? Nora Mine
is locked up in the cupboard, where it
shall stay until I am marrie'd, whe
I may bring it out for my children lo
play with. Edith What if you don t
have any children? Nora Well,
then, in that case it will do for my
grandchildren!
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