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A noted clergyman was spending a
few days at the summer home of one
of his congregation.
While seated'On the piazza with his
hostess, her little boy and girl came
running toward them; the former
with a rat, held at arm's length by
"Don't be afraid, mother," he
called. "It's quite deadL We beat
him and beat him!" each declaration
being illustrated by an imaginary
blow on the rat. Then, feeling a
deference might be due the clerey-
'nian, he said, in measured, solemn
tones and with uplifted eyes, "Yes,
we beat Mm and beat him until God
i called - him home." i-Hamer'a
"Why is that man always grunting
so about his business?" -"I dofn't
know, unless it is the force of asso
ciation. You see, he deals in pig-
Having given instructions to the
clerk that he was to be called at 4:30
the next morning the traveler went
up to bed.
The bed was an example of "what a
bed ought to be. He was very tired,
and was soon in dreamland. The
night wore on, and our traveler was
just booking a $5,000 order dream
land is the one country where that
kind of thing happens occasionally
when bang! bang! came at the door.
He turned over drowsily, and was
about to receive the money in ad
vance when bang! came something
at the door again.
"Who's there?" he asked his pil
low. "Me, sir!" said a voice. "Please
come quickly, sir, and sign this re
"Receipt?" he repeated vaguely.
"Yes, sir. Most important, sir.
Must be signed at once, sir!" m .
With ideas of checks, orders, lega
cies and registered letters floating
dimly through his brain the traveler
staggered out of bed and switched,on
the light. As he did so a piece of
paper was pushed under the door. He
seized it and read:
"Called at 4:30, as requested,
Please sign here."
, HE WAS SATISFIED
'A young fellow who drank much,
more than was good for him was ad
vised by his friends to sign the pledge,
but he refused.
"But," protested his friends, "your
physician says that if you keep on
drinking you will surely go blind.
Now, the question is simply this: Do
you prefer being cured of the drink
habit and retaining your sight, or do
you prefer to keep on drinking and
The young man paced the floor
for some time, and was in a brown
study. Finally, he turned to his
friends and, with a resigned expres
sion of countenance, replied:
''Weil, 1'veseen about eyerthing
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