" THE MAD FLYERS
After speed-mad people have suc
ceeded in breaking all records against
time with automobiles, motorcycles,
steamships and railroad trains, it
would seem that all efforts to enjoy a
new sensation a keener thrill had
been realized when airship flights
were made at terrific speed, and iu
many cases, with safety.
But, not satisfied with the con
quest of the air almost "within their
reach, the flying wizards are now
flirting with death in aerial gymnas
tics. From these feats of daring; mul
tiplying the perils of the air a thou
sand fold, no advancement in air
navigation is apparent. Spiral dips,
upside down flights and looping-the-loop
are the latest nerve staggerers
introduced hy aviators in San Diego,
Cal., and Due, France, none of which
evolutions would ever be necessary if
aviation is commercially successful.
If aviation is to he what telegraphy,
wireless and otherwise, electricity,
steam and their driven engines are
to mankind, it would be well for those
who have brought the airship to its
present state of comparative perfec
tion to work for greater and more
practical ends and not endanger and
perhaps sacrifice their lives for the
mere sake of giving less venturesome
men or women a momentary thrilL
THE PRIZE SUFFERER
She was one of those curious peo
ple who "enjoy1 bad health." Her
conversation consisted solely of long
speeches on diets, pains, exercises,
medicines and doctors.
But one day a friend called on her
and was surprised to find her in
dulging, in a hearty manner, in a
large and civilized meal.
Said the friend, "Why, this is
splendid! You must be feeling a lot
better at last!"
"Ah, poor me poor me!" sighed
the old lady, helping herself to more
lobster salad. "I always feel so un
happy when I'm not ill, because I
know when I am well that I am go-,
ing to feeT so much worse after-1
THE NEWSBOY'COULDNT QUITE
SEE THE JOKE
New York, Dec. 2. The most puz
zled and the maddest newsboy in
New York was a passenger in an up
town surface car a few days ago.
First a little old man boarded the
car. He was shriveled and bony.
From under his arm he took two fiat
rubber bags. He placed one of them
to his mouth, blew it up and sat on
it. Then he inflated the other and
placed it under his feet. The passen
gers were much interested, but, as
he was old and seemed happy, no one
laughed at his performance.
After several blocks the old man
gathered up his bags and left the car.
At the very next corner the news
boy boarded it, with a bundle of
papers. He took the place the old
man had just vacated. He put half
his papers on the seat and sat on
them. The others he placed under
his feet. Then, just as the little old
man had done, he settled back to en
joy his ride in comfort.
Whereupon his fellow passengers
with one accord burst into laughter.
The boy, of course, couldn't tell that
they never in the world Tvould have
laughed' if it hadn't been for the pre
vious performance of 'the little old
man. He was mad enough to fight.
MYSTERY IN DROWNING
The body of Mrs. Mittlestadt, wife
of Frank Middlestadt, a musician,
1438 Berteau, avenue, was found in
Lake Michigan near Winnetka yes
terday. Police believe thewoman
Considerable mystery surrounds
the case. None of the woman's rela
tives would discuss the case. Mrs.
Mittlestadt had not been living with
her husband and until recently is be
lieved to have been a patient at the
North Shore health resort in Winnetka.
y-3yes" -.. ,r . &,,''k
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