OCR Interpretation


The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, December 02, 1913, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1913-12-02/ed-1/seq-17/

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( MAYBE VtU KNOW
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HIGH SPEED
The old mountaineer, who was
standing on the corner of the main
.street in a certain little Kentucky
town, had never seen an automobile.
When a. good-sizedN touring car
came rushing up the street at about
thirty miles an hour and slowed down
just enough to take the corner on
two wheels, his astonishment was ex
treme. The old fellow watched the disap
pearing car with bulging eyes and
open mouth. Then, turning to a by
stander, he remarked solemnly:
r "The horses must aho'ly ha' been
rptraveling some when they- got loose
from that gen'leman's carriage!"
, oo
- "A eentleman has fallen throueh
jhe coal-hole!"
"HlnTi fh cnvpr nvp.r htm nnor n-hA
mn ran for a policeman. We must
:;arrest him for trying to steal the coal
I ?or he'll sue us for damages."
VERY VALUABLE
The squire could not be absolutely
certain, but he had a strong convic
tion that Mr. Stilepostand his family
benefited more by his game than
from a strictly moral point of view
they should have done. But the keep
ers were no match for the wily Stile
post, and the squire at Imt hit upon
a really brilliant idea; he would buy
the suspected culprit's dog.
"That's a sharp-looking dog you
have, John," re remarked one morn
ing. "I've taken a fancy to him. I
suppose a fiver would buy him?"
"No, sir," said John respectfully.
"Ten dollars, then?"
"No, sir."
"Well" desperately "twenty!
No? Good gracious, man, you on
the verge of starvation, and yet re
fuse twenty dollars! Look here, you
know you can't afford to keep a dog!"
"True, sir."
"Then why do you?"
"I don't, sir. He keeps me!"
And, with a cheerful smile, the old
reprobate passed on.
YOU PAY, ANYHOW
Our hoss is gone dead, and aur mulo
is gone lame,
An' we lost our dog in a poker game;
Then a cyclone came long t'other
day
An' blew the house where we lived
away;
An earthquake followed when that
was gone
An' swallowe1 the spot-where the
house stood on. ,
Now the durned tax collector he's
come aroun'
And made us pay on a hole in the
groun'.
oo
NO DANGER
"Johnny," said the elderly, gentle
man to the youngster who was puff
ing away at a cigarette, "aren't you
afraid of bringing your father's hairs
in sorrow to the grave?"
IiNOUun uoin , sum uiu urv.mn.
"Pop's Tald-Tieaded!" N. Y.-jyorW,
iw

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