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Newspaper Page Text
ENTERPRISE WANTED '
- A Yankee peered inqulsitely at a
little old Jew who shared a street car
veat with. him. The little Jew looked
at him depreciatingly. "Nice day,"
he began politely. "You're a Jew,
ain't you?" asked the Yankee. "Yes,
sir; I'm a clothing salesman" hand
ing him a card. "But you're a Jew?"
"Yes, yes, I'm a Jew!" was the an
swer. "Well," continued the Yankee,
i"I'm a Yankee, and in thelittle vil
lage in Maine where I come from
Em proud to say there ain't a Jew!"
Dot's why it's a village!" replied
Hf The voune man nau asked for a
horse that .was gentle and safe.
&- As he drove out of the stable the
liveryman said: "The spring on the
ftorfif ctla rtf bo Hllfrcrtr fa cfrnn trai '
LiigUli UXA S& U1U WMJ W UUUUgVll
ana we young man uiusiieu um,u nis
ears looked like a sunset in a chromo.
-N. Y. World.
DIFFICULTIES OF DISCIPLINE
Whilst the annual training of the
militia was in progress a private was
riding one hot day on a car with his
uniform coat unbuttoned. This
caused a sergeant on the seat behind
to say, "Button up that coat! Haven't
you got any sense of military decency
at all?" But a man on the left in
terfered, saying to the sergeant,
"How dare you give commands with
a cigar in your mouth? I'm Major
Carlingford." At this point an elder
ly man with a white military mus
tache leaned over and murmured In
the major's ear: "Colonel Fitzclair
is sorry to "remind you, sir, that to
scold a sergeant in the presence of a
private is a military offense hard to
A medical man thought very highly
of a certain aerated water, and by his
assiduous recommendations procured
for it a celebrity it justly deserved.
He acted solely in the interests of hu
manity generally, and expected no
return. To his surprise, he received
one morning an effusive letter from
the proprietors to the effect that his
recommendations had done them so
much good that they "ventured to
send him a hundred " Here the
page came to an end. "This will
never do," said the doctor; "it is very
kind, but I could not think of accept
ing anything!" Then he turned the
page and found that the sentence
ran "of our circulars for distribution!"
A little girl was playing one morn
ing with her dolls. "Mother, I want
some water In a bowl," she said; "I
am going to christen my doll." "I
wouldn't do that, dear," replied the
mother. "That would be trifling with
a subject you do not understand."
"Well, then, give me some wax to
waxcinate her with, mother," said the
little girl. "She's old enough now to
have something done to her!"