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Newspaper Page Text
wmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm i k r it imu iBkty HE FORGOT IT An old cavalry horse was in the shafts, and the officer was in a hurry. Taking the reins from the driver, he shouted "Charge!" and away the ani mal galloped, stopping dead when he Reached the barracks at the word 5rHalt!" ' The next morning an Englishman anted to catch the-boat from the uay, and the driver said: "Shure, Qur honor, there ain't a horse in njd Ireland who can go so fast." LHe cracked his whip and shouted. 'Charge!" and away the horse went. Nearing the dock, Pat yelled: Jump for Heaven's sake. I've for gotten the password!" o o EXCUSED Tour cat made an awful noise in he back garden last night, and " I'm awfully sorry, Mr Houston, ut since he ate the canary-he thinks rfie can sing!" AN OPTICAL ILLUSION A young medical student, who was learning the use of the opthalmo scope, was told to examine a man's eye and report uponthe condition of it. He adjusted the instrument and looked long and? searchingly into the subject's left eye. "Most remark able!" he ejaculated, with a surprised look. Readjusting the ophthalmo scope, he again carefully scrutinized the eye. "Very extraordinary in deed!" he exclaimed. "I never heard of such an eye. This must be some hew disease. Have you ever had an expert's opinion on it?" "Once," was the laconic reply. "The man who put it in said it was a fine bit of glass!" o o MAGNANIMOUS The Mayor Have you heard, Mr. Roche, that our generous townsman, Mr. Harding, is defraying the cost of a new promenade all round the town? We think a wealthy man like yourself might also do something for us. Mr. Roche Well, what do you say to my giving you a park of oak trees? The Mayor Oh, you noble-hearted philanthropist! Why, do you really mean to Mr. Roche Yes, yes; 111 make the town a present of an oak forest. You have only to supply the land, and I will supply you with as many acorns as you will want for seed! o o NO CHEATING Two experienced anglers went fish ing one day. One sat down on the -pier, while the other stood. Just be fore beginning operations they made a wager with each other as to who would make the bigger catch of fish. They had been fishing for about half an hourwith little or no success, when John, who was standing, lost nis balance and fell off tie pier. As he went headlong past Dick, the latter gave a yell and said: "Hi, John, if you are goin' to dire for 'jem the bet's olf!" jd