Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1922 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
N Sf COME ONObU Sov.
V SET HOU ATWCIN& PARfTNCR
tet6HlAVAY. COME HEY, y)
VOT AILS YOU?
THE CUSTOMER'S ERROR
'Waiter!" called a diner in a cheap
restaurant.. The waiter looked out of
the window, pretending he had not
(heard. The customer had already
Complained of his chop and his chips
and his serviette. "Waiter!" The
"attendant moved towards him. "Just
look at the color of this water,
waiter!" growled the diner. "It's not
fit to drink!" The waiter Taised the
glass to the light and examined it.
Then he set it down. "No. sir. you're
deceiving youraelf," he said. "That
Rjyater's perfectly all right, sir. It's
jthe glass what's dirty!"
Visitor at the National Gallery
Why, tliem's'the very same pictures
I saw here the day before yesterday!
Attendant (dryly) Quite likely. Vis
itor Then the landlord where I'm
JjBtaying is wrong. He told me that
fthe pictures was cbanged'"aaily in all
ihe- leadin' picture
A PRECAUTIONARY MEASURE
, A boy who was given two plaster
images coated with pink sugar want
ed to eat them, but he was warned
not to do so as they contained poison.
However the little fellow was du
bious. Day after day he asked if he
might not eat the Imag"?, until one
afternoon he had a young friend in to
play with him. That evening it was
discovered that one of the images
had disappeared. His mother rushed
to him. "Charles," she said, "where
is that pink image? " Charles frown
ed. "I gave it to my mate," he re
plied, "and if he's alive tomorrow I'm
going to eat the other one myself!"
A SAD AFFLICTION
Passenger (on motor bus) What
has become of Sykes, who used to be
a conductor on this line?
Conductor Why the company dis
charged him some 'time ago!
Passenger Discharged him? What
Conductor It was found upon in
vestigation that he was color-blind.
Passenger Color-blind? What
difference does that make in a con
ductor? Conductor A good deal. He
couldn't tell the difference between
the color of his money and that of
MIGHT BE WORSE
"Yes," he remarked, stretching
himself lazily in the one really com
fortable chair in the commercial
room. "I'm the youngest child of a
very big family."
"How many of you are there?"
asked a fellow knight of the road.
"Well," replied the lazy one," three
of my brothers are dead, but there
were ten of us boys, and each of us
had a sister."
"What!" gasped his questioner
"Do you mean to Bay that there were
twenty of you?"
."Dear, dear, no only eleven,