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Newspaper Page Text
NOW HE 16STACKIKS TbToT
M3lW SCAMP, JCSK, WHO UUFS )
Ml JipWlCKLtS, 4JEy VHISPER.
DEV "POrrT& HER,UNO SHAKE
HANPS- EVlDENTfcY AtXJlF HASS
ASRBEt) Tto lT JCNK5 -um-t
NUT HER INSTEAD qENKS
WHAT A JOLT
"I've lust called in, my dear, to
tell you how much I enioved vour
bl party last night! And, also, to thank
ou for introducing me to that
eharming young man who took me
in to dinner!" said Miss Languish to
"Yes, he's a nice young fellow, isn't
he? I thought you two seemed to
be getting on famously together!"
'''Oh, yes"; he has such really de
lightful manners! Why, after I had
sung he told me in such a nice way,
too that if he had my voice he
would be a rich man in no time and
m, sure he meant it! I suppose he
, alsoa singer?"
"No he is 'not a singer, dear, but
I'.have no doubt he meant what he
said. He's an auctioneer."
I During twelve years 9,000,000
working days were lost owing to
strikes in Canada, or, an average of
JZ5Q.000 days a year.
BIG PURCHASE NOT
Trade was bad, very bad; and M-.
Buggins, the chief grocer of the dis
trict, found his takings becoming
smaller every day. All his old cus
tomers seemed to be leaving the
neighborhood and no new ones arriv
ing. Even old Mrs. Robinson, whom
the firm of Buggins had supplied
with the necessaries of life for many
years, had not been near the shop fqr
One morning, however, she again
entered the door; and Mr. Buggins,
delighted, hastened to attend to her
"And what may I get for you to
day?" he inquired.
"A cent's worth of soap," came the
Mr. Buggins' face was wonderfully
expressive of outraged feelings; so
was his answer.
"A cent's worth of soap?" he re
torted. "Certainly. I suppose you'll
be washing the canary this afternoon?"
She Mr. Jones, look at that impu
dent man on the other side of the
street He has been following us for
the last ten minutes.
Jones Why didn't you tell me so
before? rtl teach the impudent pup
py a lesson.
Walking boldly across the street,
Jones says to the man:
"Look here, Snip, I'm very sorry
I've not got the money to pay you for
that suit, but you ought not to follow
me up and dun me when I'm trying
to capture that girl. She has got lots
of money, and if I succeed you will
not only get your money, but also an
order for a wedding outfit."
Snip goes off satisfied.
Returning to the young IadyJones
"I am glad you called my attention
to that cowardly scoundrel. I don't
think he will ever stare at you again.
I had great difficulty in restraining