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Newspaper Page Text
HOEl?TA CNCtklVS HIMSELF KN0CKW6 CvGAR.
ASHES iH PER EVE OFDfcfc AMERICAN CrTBEtf.
Diss iss "becoss iier Mexican citizen sowt
AUOW IT TO HIMSEIF ANYMORE. BOTTiGR.
AMERICAN CITIZEM SS USED To IT AT HoirtE.
HE SETS rrVEN HE.SOESToTJER'PoUUS.
WE DON'T SHOOT OOHL -BOSS ES . ,
6HO0UT WE GO To WAR MIT MEXICO? VElX. WE CAN WHIP OEM
EASY. 3UST THROW A 1?eTtHlMENr OF VAUrSTBROkrEES. STANDARD
Ob1ieECTOI5S.-0N0 PATRIOTIC FARO WEAUtBS ACROS B0WJ
THRW "0M AS Tt.R ACROSS AS
YOO CAM. AFTERKARTS, WEGo.TJtY
VILL NEED USTo'CARey "DEB
ETCHERS. DISS ISSDER-MeW)
i n pn
janri n J7es i
owDecTwrr we 1
outs vav we used ib aovnesT,
uiWLB TR ABOVE INTERESTS WOULT
n&v on wss-snr und chip iM 1orbep
PCD CE055 1-Unu QUAUbY. iftN ufcY WOWiT QO IN
WENT K. .
BI?e5lDEkJT VILSON HASS NEVER BVffLOYED UNDULY HASTE BY
MIXING IN DER FESTIVITIES. 3R FoREjfiN AWONS CFEUJecpar,
HOWEVER HAFBEW REAL ANXIOOS ABCOTIT. DISS )SS ; BEOOSS
MEXICO CAN NEVER, STAQSEI? HUMANITY UE OB? BALKAN VAR
NEEDED NO OATH
At a certain college custom ordains
that at examination time each of the
candidates shall write the following
pledge at the bottom of his papers:
"I hereby declare, on my honor,
that I have neither given nor receiv
ed assistance during the examina
tion." Now, recently it so happened that
a young fellow, after handing in one
of the papers, suddenly remembered
that in his haste he had omitted to
write the oath. On the following day,
therefore, he sought out one of the
examiners, and told him that he had
forgotten to put the required pledge
on his paper.
The old man looked at him over the
top of his glasses and drily remarked;
"Quite unnecessary. Your paper in
itself is sufficient evidence. -I've just
been correcting it!"
J. LJ o
r "Did you have a merry Christmas?"
t "Yes. ma'am. recked Willie.
DIDN'T CARE FOR FLIES
Young Robinson had been kept
somewhat late at the office on Satur
day, and so, without wasting valuable
time getting a meal, he bought some
currant buns at a bakery and set out
for the football match immediately.
He was much distressed, to find that
the first bun he tackled contained a
fly, and his annoyance was increas
ed, no, doubt, by the fact that the
home side suffered a heavy defeat.
On his way back from the match,
therefore, he returned to the bakery
and made an indignant complaint, de
manding another bun in place of the
"I'm sorry, sir," said the saleswo
man, with a bewitching smile, "but
that, I am afraid, is impossible. How
ever, if you care to return the fly, we
shall be only too glad to exchange it
for a currant."
"Was she mad because you" didnt
call the other evening?"
"Voc cVio aair? clo Tirniilln'f mita n
J.-., uiu. u.u, .wf.v.v. """ I ivw, w uuiu jv "UU'UU I61,l;
'JThey had to send for the doctor." fig for the man who didn;t keep his
Judge. I dates." N. Y. World.