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Newspaper Page Text
T5r5F5ni'" JTJ M r 54 fV meIup.apolf' vake up! tEt?e ISS UW. 7' SHOPPINGS UAY5 YET TILL WvtmAS. get OP, I SAY! VOT, YOU DOlTipSiCARE? hfow CArt YOU TALK LIKE ancfrrvpu can still buv your 'EE&Es EF YOU HURt?Y! K-vfw. An HIS EXPLANATION Father was of an economical turn of mind, and hated extravagance with all his heart. He had since the ear1 liest days tried to instill ideas of a similar nature into the brain of his "small son, aged eight. His grief was terrible to see when one day he came upon the budding economist stuffing himself with a rlice of bread generously covered -with a layer of butter, which was -Usurmounted by a young mountain of m. "My boy," said he, sadly though severely, "surely you do not realize what you are doing; yet you ought, by now, to comprehend the wicked extravagance of eating butter and jam together!" "Why, I'm being most economical, father!" replied the young hopeful. 'Don't you see that I'm making the same slice of bread do for both?" NOT WHAT HE EXPECTED He came into the police station, his hands clenched, and his eyebrows swooping downward towards the bridge of his nose. "How much do you charge in a case of assault and battery?" "That depends aboul twenty dol lars." "You can knock the stuffing out of a man for that, can't you?" "Possibly." "Can a fellow pay his fine in ad vance?" ) "If you want to," laughed the in spector. The visitor laid two $10 bills on the desk. "I'm going to lick a man, and I don't want any Interference of the police while I do it." And he stalked out, muttering. ' Half an hour afterwards a man came in. Both his eyes "Were puffed, his nose crooked, his clothing was hanging on him in rags. "Well," he said, gently, "do you recognize me?" "Can't say I do." """I'm the man who came in here half an hour ago and paid a fine' in advance." "Oh! Well, what do -you want now?" "Would you mind giving me my money back?" o o An. angler was contemplatively plying his rod and line. "Do you know," cried an irate gentleman, ap pearing on the scene, "that you are fiBhing in preserved water? And per haps you will allow me to inform you that I have been to considerable expense in stocking it with fish!" "Ah, yes!" exclaimed he angler lan guidly. "And with what fish, may I ask?" "With roach, sir, my favorite fish!" "Ah, well, then, in that case," said the angler blandly, -"there's no need for you to worry I -am .fishing for trout!" fe tm