meIup.apolf' vake up! tEt?e ISS
UW. 7' SHOPPINGS UAY5 YET TILL
WvtmAS. get OP, I SAY! VOT, YOU
DOlTipSiCARE? hfow CArt YOU TALK LIKE
ancfrrvpu can still buv your
'EE&Es EF YOU HURt?Y!
Father was of an economical turn
of mind, and hated extravagance with
all his heart. He had since the ear1
liest days tried to instill ideas of a
similar nature into the brain of his
"small son, aged eight.
His grief was terrible to see when
one day he came upon the budding
economist stuffing himself with a
rlice of bread generously covered
-with a layer of butter, which was
-Usurmounted by a young mountain of
"My boy," said he, sadly though
severely, "surely you do not realize
what you are doing; yet you ought,
by now, to comprehend the wicked
extravagance of eating butter and
"Why, I'm being most economical,
father!" replied the young hopeful.
'Don't you see that I'm making the
same slice of bread do for both?"
NOT WHAT HE EXPECTED
He came into the police station,
his hands clenched, and his eyebrows
swooping downward towards the
bridge of his nose.
"How much do you charge in a
case of assault and battery?"
"That depends aboul twenty dol
lars." "You can knock the stuffing out of
a man for that, can't you?"
"Can a fellow pay his fine in ad
"If you want to," laughed the in
spector. The visitor laid two $10 bills on the
"I'm going to lick a man, and I
don't want any Interference of the
police while I do it." And he stalked
out, muttering. '
Half an hour afterwards a man
came in. Both his eyes "Were puffed,
his nose crooked, his clothing was
hanging on him in rags.
"Well," he said, gently, "do you
"Can't say I do."
"""I'm the man who came in here
half an hour ago and paid a fine' in
"Oh! Well, what do -you want
"Would you mind giving me my
An. angler was contemplatively
plying his rod and line. "Do you
know," cried an irate gentleman, ap
pearing on the scene, "that you are
fiBhing in preserved water? And per
haps you will allow me to inform
you that I have been to considerable
expense in stocking it with fish!"
"Ah, yes!" exclaimed he angler lan
guidly. "And with what fish, may I
ask?" "With roach, sir, my favorite
fish!" "Ah, well, then, in that case,"
said the angler blandly, -"there's no
need for you to worry I -am .fishing
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