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me. The foundation for this I don't
know. Probably it is because he is so
Just at present he's a tourist. He
is making a trip around the world.
He is travelingjn the capacity of an
oiler on" "a; tramp steamer. It's
So when we received a letter post
marked ;at some outlandish, half
breed port in the tropics, I at once
suspected something awful had hap
pened, and I swooned in mamma's
arms. And, something awful had
happened. He was sending me a
flamingo. Ma, she took it calmer.
She thought a flamingo was some
thing to wear.
When I came to I had to inform her
a flamingo is a hectic bird about the
color of a boiled shrimp, and looks"'
like a cross between a stork and a
duck. Also, it has fishing pole legs,
a neck like a garden hose, a head like '
a peanut, and a weird decorative ef
fect suitable to circus posters. Circus
posters are great educators. That's
where I got my entire dope about
Well, I suppose I will have to keep
stout with "Uncle Ignatz and welcome
the flamingo when it arrives. As a
matter of fact, I'm about as eager for
it as I'd be for a crocodile.
My only hope is that it's a warbler.
THE CONFESSIONS OF A WIFE
This morning everything seemed to
be "which way." Dick took cold on
the motor ride last night and it settled
in a neglected tooth, consequently he
was not in good humor.
I had an intuitive feeling that he
attributed the ache to me, although
he was quite as happy last night as I.
I did not realize until I arrived at
the dobr of the diningroom that it
was the first of the month. Mr.
Waverly was growling over the bills
and I heard Mrs. Waverly say:
"Well, you know, father, the wed
ding cost us a lot," and Mr. Waverly
answered: "I can't see why we should
have spent so much money just to
make a splurge. If you would come
down on earth, Mary, and try to be
economical once in a while we would
have some sort of a show fon our old
"But, father, you would not have
your only son marry without giving
our friends some notice of the event,"
said Mrs. Waverly.
"That could have been done for
twenty-five dollars with announce
ment cards if you had not wanted to
make a show," exploded Mr. Waver-
ly, as I opened the door and hostili
Mollie was as pale as a ghost and
she did not eat anything. When Dick
picked up the letters at his plate I
thought she was going to faint.
I knew from Dick's fact that he
had a number of bills that were larger
than he expected and these did not
make his toothache any better.
"Will you go to the dentist's this
morning?" I asked.
"I will not," he answered shortly.
"I have an engagement with Selwyn
which will take me all the forenoon."
"Have you got the toothache, Rich
ard?" asked his mother.
"If I hadn't I would not be think
ing of going to the dentist's," he
growled. "It is not vhat I would
choose to do for pleasure."
1 do wish' Richard would not be so
short with his mother. She is a pecu
liarly aggravating sort of woman, but
she is his mothej and it makes me
tremble to think that when he has
gotten used to me he may answer me
as he does here. I am sure if he does
it will break my heart.
Dick handed me his letters a& he
went out the door, with, "Here, Mar
gie, take care of these."