Search America's historic newspaper pages from 1789-1943 or use the U.S. Newspaper Directory to find information about American newspapers published between 1690-present. Chronicling America is sponsored jointly by the
National Endowment for the Humanities and the Library of Congress. external link Learn more
Image provided by: University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL
Newspaper Page Text
WE'RE OFF h
HE TOLD HIM
- Counsel I insist on an answer to
my question. You have not told me
all the conversation. I want to know
all that passed between you and Mr.
Jones on the occasion to which you
Reluctant Witness I've told you
everything of any consequence.
"You have told me you said to him,
Jones, this case will get into the
court some day.' NbV, I want to
know what he said tn reply."
"Well, he said, '.Brown, there isn't
anything in this "business that I'm
ashamed of. and if anv nnnnnincr iu
jiieV yee-hawing, four-by-six, gimlet-
jawyer, witn nan a pound of
and sixteen ounces of law.
mts to know what I've hfn
about, just tell him.' "
pie born on Christmas Dav are.
according to an old superstition,
ucky all their lives.
A railway conductor related an
amusing little incident the other day.
"At an out-of-the-way little station
in the West," he said, "a party of
working men wished to go to a town.
Unfortunately, the ticket agent had
only a limited number of tickets at
"Eventually he got out of his diffi
culty by dividing the pieces of paste
board and issuing children's tickets
to the party, at the same time ex
plaining to me how matters stood.
" 'They've paid the full fare, of
course,' he remarked, 'so you must
see 'em through.
"I had almost forgotten the mat
ter, when a ticket-examiner at B
came to me and remarked, with a sor
rowful shake of the head:
" 'This under-age dodge is getting
" 'What's the matter?' I asked.
" 'Matter?' he echoed, disgustedly.
Why, here's a whole car full o' chil
dren wot plays cards, drinks whisky,
and wears whiskers!' "
Two motorists, having almost ruin-
ed their tempers and their tires
in a vain attempt to find a hotel with
a vacant bed, were at last forced to
make the best of a small inn.
Even then they had to share a bed,
which was and on this the landlord
laid great stress a feather bed.
They turned in, and one of the
pair was soon fast asleep; the other
was not. He could not manage to
dodge the lumps, and heard hour aft
er hour strike on the church clock
until 3 a. m., when he also struck.
He did this by violently shaking his
"What's the matter?" growled the
other. "It can't be time to get up
"No, it isn't," retorted his friend,
continuing to shake him; "but it's
my turn to sleep -on the. feather 1