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1 1 gfBAW .toqbdbb goot resolotiom . more OUT.TjEt haf rum out of r4 4 M i i fieSTOFERVtAR ISS BEST TIME TO QUIT 5. XT GIVES toO A TO PASS ON VOOC CHRIST- FEBRUARV YOOVL A SOOT SfAOKE. WITTY JUDGE A wittv iutiee declared recentlv that "a patriot was a man who re fused to button his wife's blouse. A martyr," he went on, "is one who at tempts and fails, while a hero tries and succeeds." "Then what is a coward?" asked a curious bystander. ''Oh, a coward," replied the judge, "4s a man who Temains single so that he won't have to try." o o ''" A JOLT! A solicitor called upon another member of the profession and asked his opinion upon a certain point of law. The lawyer to whom the ques tion was' addressed drew himself up. know," he said stiffly. '-'I generally get paid for what I The questioner took half a dc-llar from -his pocket and offered it to the other. "Tell me all you know and give me the change," said he. j WRONG NUMBER A gentleman was staying in one of our large provincial towns, when he heard that Mr. Moneyboy, his part ner in business, was at another town close by, so he rang up his hotej on the telephone. "Is Mr. Moneyboy there?" he in quired. "No, he's not," came,the .response. "WelL has he engaged-rooms?" : "No.. We don't reserve rooms here; first come, first served is our rule," came the sharp and. somewhat airy reply. He was rather taken back at the lofty independence they seemed to revel in in that town. "Can you tell me," he?,asked, "if he will stay with you whenvhe reaches the town?" "It's possible he may. But we can't say." "Look here," roared the irate gen tleman, "you're the most impudent jack-in-office that ever spoilt his master's business. Go away and tell someone who knows more about the business of -the hotel to come and speak to me." There was a chuckle at the other end of the wire. "This isn't an hotel; it's the town jail," said the voice. The confused gentleman rang off sharp. o o HE HIT BACK A clever lawyer succeeded in win ning his client's case and getting the better of a rather bumptious barris ter. The latter couldn t conceal his chagrin, and, meeting his victorious opponent in the smokeroom of the hotel at which they were staying, he remarked, in a loud and spiteful tone: "Sir, is there any case too dirty for you, or any criminal so much dyed in crime that you won't defend?" "No," said the other, In a quiet tone. "What have you been doing now?" rfjsL ,