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Newspaper Page Text
VALIVtfAt 1 AVImMtl
.' "Speaking of hens," said an Ameri
can traveler, "reminds me of an old
hen my dad had on a farm in Dakota.
She would hatch out anything from
a tennis ball to a lemon. Why, one
day she sat on a piece of ice and
hatched out two quarts of hot
"That doesn't come up to. a club
footed hen my old mother once had,"
said one of his hearers. "They had
been feeding her by mistake on saw
dust instead of oatmeal. Well,, she
laid twelve eees and set on them, and
-when they were hatched eleven of the
ihickens had wooden legs and the
elfth was.q, woodpecker."
I Clergyman (indignantly) You
say you haven t anything to be
thankful for? Why, look at you,r
neighbor Hayes; he has just lost his
-1-wJf e' by- influenza. Burke But that
Spn't do me any gQod; IamxHayes.
' DOTH HAD SERVED
A certain old colonel was noted
his great generosity. He had Igst -
arm during one of the engagements
in which he has seen service, and
this made him very sympathetic to
ward all who had experienced similar
While walking on his estate, one
day he met an old one-legged man,
evidently in abject poverty.
"Ah, you have met with a great
misfortune, like myself, I see," re
marked the colonel.
"Ah," replied the old man, "and,
like yersel', colonel, I have spent a
great part of my life in government's
service, and seen a lot of hard work.-'
''My poor man!" exclaimed tho
kind-hearted colonel, as he pushed
a half dollar into the old man's hand,
"I fear you have received but a poor
reward for your services."
"Ye may well say that, .colonel,"
replied the veteran, as he nobbled"
"But," added the colonel, "y i
didn't tell me where you served."
"Well, if it comes to that," the o '
reprobate answered, with a sly
chuckle, "I served my time in j-ja'!.
where they give me fourteen years
for stealing jewelery!"
THEY CAME BACK
Flipson Young Waggles has got
the laugh turned on himself in his
little joke against the Blazes F. n
Flipson He insured- five hundrr 1
cigars, smoked them, and then sent
In a claim on the ground that they
had been destroyed'by fire.
Flopson And they laughed at
him, I suppose1?
Flipson No, they had him arrest
ed on a charge of arson.
i o o
Pat (after the explosion) Why
didn't ye wait five minutes longer, j j
coward? Mike It s better to be a
coward for five minutes isn't it, than
to be a corpse for the rest of yer life?