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eoijLY. iQOtre forgot
A APPOINTMENT TOR NOO Mu
MY CHIROPODIST. I CAN
BARELY MAKE T!
RUNNING TO SEED
Newly wed, very happy, utterly In
'experienced, and really rather igno
rant they were all these things. And
they had a new house, with a little
garden at the back, of which
though neither of them knew much
of matters horticultural they were
both inordinately proud.
"Dolly," he cried, bursting into the
house one afternoon, "there's some
asuaraeus lust ready fbr ' eatinfc.
'Come! You shall gather the first
'fruits from our garden."
there was nothing she would like
.'to have dohe more. But, alas! as
paragus gathering was not one of her
strong points. In fact, she didn't
ev6n know what the stuff looked like
Tin its natural state. So, anxidUB hot
!tto "give -herself away," she decided
'to "be cautious.
"No, John," she said; "you'd bet
ter do the cutting. You're taller than
lam. I'll hold the ladder!" -
Sam had bad a rare good Christ
mas, and was returning to the office
feeling, as he put It, "like a two-year-old."
He had leaped from his bed feeling
ready for anything, had had a re-
M markaply good shave, made a splen
did breakfast in snort, au was ngnt
with the world in his eyes!
On his way to the station he hap
pened to meet his old friend Clem
"Hello, Sam!" said Clem. "How
axe ypu feeling?"
"Fine!" said Sam.
"That's funny, for you look abso
lutely worn out! Too much Christ
mas what?" !
"Oh, I don't know, I "
"Seems to mp, oljl man, you're-in
for a dose of 'flu'! You -say you feel
"I ivas all right when I got up this
mornjng, but I IlQt W I haven't
got a bft of a uStKtachg coming on,"
"P&l the palma of your handa got
"Why, now you mention It, I do I"
"That 'flit' alT right! You take my
tip and. go home, old man!"
And Sam went home, and sent for
Tthe doctor. Such is the power of
NOT THAT WAY
WeU, John," said the doctor, who
had been rather rudely roused from
his . afternoon nap, ."what's wrong
"I'Ve sprained my wrist rather bad
ly, sir," explained the blacksmith of
The doctor examined the wrist,
and looked grave.
"Thomas," he caUed to his surgery
boy, "go upstairs and bring me down
that! phial on the table."
With indignation in his face, the
blacksmith started to his feet.
"File!" he yelled. "No, you don't!
If this hand's got to coine off, you'll
use a knife or an ax!"