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Newspaper Page Text
, UNCLE SAM IS GOING TO HELP LAME DUCKS Uncle Sam introduces himself in a new role, now played for the first time: doctor to ducks and general superintendent of the federal sanitarium for sick waterfowl. "Quack! Queck!" exclaimB the prospective patient But he does not mean by his words to cast aspersions upon Uncle Sam's ranking with the profession. "Quack" is Mr. Duck's only vocable, and in this case is a. gasp of grati tude, not of contumely. For Mr. Duck remembers that of late a serious malady has afflicted the members of his race. The first lame duck hospital will be established at Salt Lake City by the department of agriculture. It is now thought that the annual north and south migration of wild fowl will be replaced by an annual pilgrimage to Utah, where the halt and blind of duckdom will be cured of their maladies and will leave their crutches and bandages as testimonials piled before the shrine of Saint Houston, secretary of agriculture and patron of wild ducks. o o ' PAYS GIRLS $4 PER WEEK LaCrosse, Wis., Jan. 8.- William Boerflinger, department store owner, told the Teasdale vice commission that he employs girls at $4 a week and requires them to live at home. He says the store pays no attention to the conduct of girls after work ing hours. C. J. Felber said he did not pay girls less than $5 and girls under $18 sometimes got $7.. . PROBE PRIVATE BANK DEAL New York, Jan. 8. An investiga tion has been begun by Dis't Att'y Whitman into the business methods of Henry Siegel and Frank E. Vogel, private bankers, doing business as Henry Siegel & Co., with the object of ascertaining under what circum stances money was accepted from de positors after attorneys had drawn up the bankruptcy proceeding petition.