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Newspaper Page Text
( I HAF BEEN V0&KN6
I ON SO MANY SETS I
X I HAF FORaoTTeN VcH
Ymr You V lss Yours.
THE SMALL-TIME MINSTRELS
"Mistah Huckleberry, "does yo'
know wha' I kin git some aigs?"
" 'Deed I does, Mistah Persimmons.
Leastways, Ah fink mah friend, Mis
tah Pettingill, hab some.
"Why, so far as Ah know, Mistah
Pettingill ain't got no chickens."
"How yo' know dat?"
"Becaze last spring he killed all
his chickens an' put dem in cold
storage. Now yo' tell me he might
hab some aigs?"
"Well, dem hens could 'V laid lots
ob cold storage aigs by diss time."
"Listen here, did yo' see dis in de
papers: 'Oregon Prohibits Finger
Bowls on Dining Cars as Unsani
tary'?" "Go long wif you'!"
"Yes, de paper say it am official, all
"Law-zee, it am jes' harder an'
harder to get a drink ob water on
trains all dee time!"
"You hab a very curious dawg dar.
What kind ob a nondescript am he?"
"Dat dawg am. a hygienic dawg.
Dat de kind ob a dawg he am."
"Yo' means a eugenic dawg. What
hab he got which yo' noticed on his
"Well, dat collar:"
"An, what did he inherit from his
"Nothin' a-tall. She ain't dead yit"
Another story of Mark Twain. He
had finished his speech at a dinner
party, and, on his seating himself, a
lawyer rose, shoved his hands deep
into his trouser-pockets, as was his
habit, and laughingly inquired of
'Doesn't it strike this company as
a little unusual that a professional
humorist should be funny?"
When the laughter that greeted
this sally had subsided, Mark Twain
"Doesn't it strike this company a
little unusual that a lawyer should
have, his hands in his own pockets?'
"Ah see de flies am bodderin' you',
"Yas, Mistah Huckleberry, dey am
mighty incommodious, dem flies.1 But
Ah fixed one ob dem yet' now."
- "How wus dat?"
's "Ah wuz a-settin' here readin'. A
Lfly come up an' lit on mah bald head.
Ah raised mah han' jes as stead-y
i e-e-eas-y. Den BIM: Oh, Ah
showed him somethin'!"
"Did yo' kill him?"
"No but Ah broke his wrist."
"What's the matter with the'
strain?" asked the lecturer, vexed
with- the speed they were making.
-"If you don't like this train," the
guard retorted, "you can get out and
walk." "By Jove!" said the lecturer,
"I'd like to do it; but a reception
committee is to meet me at my des
tination, and I don't want to get in
ahead of time."