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Newspaper Page Text
SH'H, I HEAR HIM
COWHe. J.EAVE. DS-R.
ROO M, MR. StfYCACtf .
H MUST OIKK IT'ISS
HE WAS SAFE
j'One of the characteristics of my
old comrade, Amos .Stillman, was
bravery in actual fighting service,"
said the old soldier. "Another char
acteristic was a sense of humor
Which stood him in good stead, even
in the face of danger, and contributed
not a little to the gaiety of his com
rades. "At the battle of Cold Harbor, just
before making the charge,, and while
Under the Confederate fire) our cor
poral, who was over six feet high, and
scarcely bigger round than a gun-
I barrel, became excited as the enemy's
bullets ploughed up the earth about
" 'What kind of a place is this ,to
keep a man in?' he demanded; 'ab
solutely without protection!'
"He had no more than spoken
when Private Stillman stuck his ram
rod in the ground.
" 'Here, corporal,' said he, 'get be
She was a plump widow with two
charming daughters. She had been
a "relict" just a year, and was begin
ning to wear her "weeds" lightly. All
the same, when the new curate called
upon her she sighed:
"Ah! I feel the loss of my poor,
dear husband very much. I never
have any appetite for anything now."
The curate was all sympathy, and
in the endeavor to cheer her by point
ing out what a comfort to her her
daughters must be, replied:
"I can quite understand that, but
you are solaced in "
"S-i-r-r!" interrupted the indignant
lady, "allow me to inform you that I
am not laced in at all."
A young soldier, dining, ordered
some plum pudding. When it Was
served he sat for some time looking
at it with an amused expression.
Then he unbuckled his belt and un
buckled his tunic. The waitress, who
had been watching him curiously,
now became alarmed, wondering
what his intentions were, and sha
hastened to fetch the proprietor.
"Well, young mani' said the latter
on his arrival, "what are you up to?'
"Up to!" echoed the young sol
dier. "If you would like to know,
I'm going to try to jump from one
nlum to another in that pudding!"
A little boy was once overheard
saying to his pet rabbit:
"How much is seven times seven?"
There being no response from the
rabbiti the boy said:
"How much is four times four?"
Still there was ho response.
"Now I will give you an easy one.
How much is two times two?"
Still the rabbit refused to respond.
"Well," said the boy, "I knew
father was fibbing when he said rab
bits are the greatest multipliers in the
I "world I"