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The day book. (Chicago, Ill.) 1911-1917, January 16, 1914, NOON EDITION, Image 17

Image and text provided by University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign Library, Urbana, IL

Persistent link: http://chroniclingamerica.loc.gov/lccn/sn83045487/1914-01-16/ed-1/seq-17/

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T
GOOD ADVICE
n?he waiter "rubbed his bands as a
.f.gtout ladv. followed bv a familv of
$JWfn hiineTv-lnnklnc hnvs and Hrls
altered the restaurant
1UC llCitU Ul LUC IUUKCU at
.toe bill of fare, and selected steak as
being fitted to her requirements
"Steak for you, Reginald? she in
quired of the biggest boy.
f "If you please, ma."
. '"Steak for you, Bertha?"
"Please;- ma."
"Ah!" she said, when all seven had
l fallen in with the steak idea. "Bring
i una uue uiue uieiui, waiter ana
r eight plates."
. The waiter gasped.
j "Did you Hear me?" inquired the
iaay.
"Yes, ma'am," stammered the
waiter. "I was only a-thlnkln'-that if
your family sat at the table next the
rdumb waiter and sniffed hard they'd
more of ameal !"
HE WAS LIKE JUNE
Obadiah Binks was one of those
sentimental idiots who had allowed
his passions to capitulate to the ever
increasing wiles of the mischief mak
er Cupid. To put it more concisely,
he had fallen in love.
Unfortunately for Obadiah, how
ever, it was a case of unrequited
affection, for the lady of his choice
had made it plainly visible from time
to time that his attentions were posi
tively objectionable.
One day Obadiah turned up at her
abode, nothing daunted by his previ
ous experiences. He was ushered in
to the drawing-room by her ten-year-old
brother, Billy.
"Is your sister in?" asked Binks
nervously.
"No," replied the other promptly.
"She's just gone out."
"Ah!" sighed the krve-stricken
Binks romantically. "So I am like
the man who went to the cage when
the bird had flown."
"No, you ain't," responded! Billy.
"You're like the month of June."
"Why, how's that?"
"Because," was the reply, "every
time you come May goes out."
o o
OBSERVING
"Be observant, my son, said Wil
lie's father. "Cultivate the habit of
seeing, and you will be a successful
man."
"Yes," added his uncle. "Dent go
through the world -blindly. Learn to
use your eyes."
"Little boys who are observing
know a great deal more than those
who are not," his aunt put in.
Willie took this advice to heart
Next day he informed Mb mother
that he had been observing things.
"Uncle's got a bottle of whisky
hidden In his trunk," he said; "Aunt
Jane's got an extra set of teeth in
her drawer, and father's got'a pack
of cards "behind the books in his
desk."
"The little sneak!" exclaimed the
members of the family indicated.

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