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whistle ended it at. night. With her
it was work and drudge day after day
with rarely a bit of variety to break
Do you wonder, then, that some
times, in the evening, she wanted a
little amusement, wanted to step be
yond her prison door?
Of course, it's bad never to stay at
home nights; and there's danger, al
so, at the other extrenie. Stay-at-home
husbands, husbands who never
.take their wives calling, become
stupid, crusty chaps, don't they? For
their own good they ought to get
out now and then and mix with their
.Mrs. Snooper Men make me tired.
Mrs. Swayback What's the matter'
now? Mrs. Snooper My husband
saw Mrs. Keedick yesterday, and I
asked him what she had on, and he
replied; "Oh, clothes."
A EUGENIC ELOPEMENT IN A WISCONSIN TOWN
Dark shadows obscured, the house as the moon' sank behind a bank of
clouds. A -window, was slowly and quietly raised. Soon a silent figure
slipped over the window sill and noiselessly slid to. the ground, via the.
knotted sheet route.
A figure lurking in the darkness beneath grasped the girl in his arms.
"My darling!'. he whispered, "let us flee at ohce,. My. car is down the road."
His attempt to fondly .kiss her was met with a rebuff. "Sir," she cried,
"where is your kissing screen?"
"S'death!" exclaimed the man, "I must have left it on the piano. But
let us hasten. "I hope you have not forgotten your health certificate?"
"No, I have it in my in a safe place," was the prompt reply. "But,"
sniff, sniff, "did you pass the examination? "What is that I smell? Have
you been drinking?"
"Nay, my love. 'Tis but the bay rum of a rummy barber shop that
"It is well." Then thev entered the waitine machine and as the chauf- .
Wl feur. in response to urgent orders, started the car rapidly forward, the
daring youth spoke loving words, lowly, though his teeth chattered with fear
"Ah, ha! Wretch! You have deceived me!" cried the maid. "Your
nerves are weak or you have chills and fever. Base villain! you must have
forged your health certificate!"
"N-n-no, I d-d-did n-n-nothing of the k-k-kind. I f-f-found'a doctor
iP who would Dass me for a D-D-Drice."
"False one! Then let us go back at once." Ker-chew! ker-chew! she
"There, vou are subiect to colds vourself ." taunted the man. "Who
J s-s-signed your certificate, anyhow? Yes, we WltL c-c-call it off. I'll tell
"Oh, Tom, don't! don't! If we love each other, a cold in the head or a
toothache will not mar our happiness. Don't you love me any m-m-more?"
There was silence in the back of the car for a minute or two and the
man in the moon peeped down and winked. At a cross-road the driver,
asked, "Which way?'
"Across the bridge!" cried Tom as he and his beloved came back to
earth with a start. ,
And they pounded across the bridge into another state where the mar
rying parson was satisfied with a five-dollar bill, without a bill of health.