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Newspaper Page Text
Ah! The audience held their breath
and simply thr-r-r-rlled as Bravado
Jack, the hero, killed the last of the
He staggered about; he almost
fainted with loss of blood.
Then he gazed about him, and sud
denly his voice rang out with hope.
"See!" he cried. "The dawn breaks
bright upon yon topmost heights!"
The stage remained in almost total
"See!" he yelled again.- "The dawn
breaks bright upon yon topmost
Still darkness reigned.
'"The dawn! The dawn!" he
scream, raging about the stage. "It
breaks! The dawn!"
A head popped over the mountain
'Hold hard', guVnor!" said the
head. "Don't be in such, a desp'rate
hurry! Someone's bin' an' switched
the electricity off!"
- . .
- QUITE SUFFICIENT
Young Algy took the darling of his
heart to a cafe where It was expen
sive to dine. She had. said she was
not hungry, so the young lover
thought he would not be called upon
to pay for more than an ice. But,
alas, it was a pheasant that the dear
one ordered, with fixings to match!
All that Algernon could do was to
watch her and suffer. "Algy, dear,"
she remarked sweetly, "you are not
eating a bit of this pheasant. Won't
you have some?" "No, darling," re
sponded the young man. "I have had
all that I "want." "All that you want,
dear!" exclaimed the young lady,
showing great surprise. "Why, you
haven't had any!" "Yes, I have,
sweet," answered the lover, with a
sighl "The waiter just handed me
the bill!" "
When Mark Twain, in -Jhis early
days, was editor of a Missouri paper,
a superstitious subscriber 'wrote to
him saying that lie had found-a spid
er in his paper, and asking him
whether that was a sign of good luck
or bad. The humorist wrote him this
answer and printed it:
"Old Subscriber Finding a spider
in your paper was neither good luck
nor bad luck for you. The spider was
merely looking over our paper to see
which merchant is not advertising, so
that he can go to that store, spin lis
web across the door, and lead a life
of undisturbed peace ever after
ward." o o i s
Little. Arthur I have noticed that
whenever it rains the statue in-the
market place gets smaller, mother.
It is a strange thing. '
His Mother Really, Arthur, I. am
afraid you are becoming untruthful.
What you say is impossible. '
Little- Arthur (much hurt) I bee
your pardon, mother! -When it rains
the-statue naturally becomes a mere