After a third addition to the family
JL. became necessary to secure the
addition of a permanent nurse.
I "Now, as my husband is very par-'
ticular whomI engage, as nurse," said
the mistress to a girl who had applied
for the position. "Are jrou faithful,
and have you a kind, loving disposi
tion? Will you " ,
"Excuse me, madam. Am I to take
cae of the baby or your husband?"
TOOK NO CHANCES
Dinny was taking dinner with-
Smith at a brilliant cafe. They
weren't accustomed to eating at such
alace, but they got along fairly
wjell. When they had finished, the
waiter said: "Shall I bring you a
couple of demitasses?" .
nny. "Our-wives might come in
i' see us sittin' wid them." St.
THE SMALL-TIME MINSTRELS
' Say, MIstah Persimmons, dey am
tellin' me yo' had a ad'ventursome
"Dat am a fac. Mistah Huckle
berry. Ah've had some close calls.
Ah had a date to perform in Charles
ton the day of the earthquake."
"But yo' escaped de cataclysm?"
"Yassah, Ah sho'ly had luck on
mah side. Ah wusn' present."
"By de way, Mistah Persimmons,
wha' wuz yo' so" fortunately detained
at de time?"x
"Ah wuz doin' a year in Joliet.
Say, didn' Ah undahstan' yo' wuz?
startin' West las' week?"
"Yassah, Ah had it all planned to
go, wif a hobo army. But deywouldn'
let me enlist."
"It am funny, a hobo army,wouldns
let yo' enlist What wuz yo'aimin' to
"As watah carrier. Nothin doin'."
"Yo' should hab enlisted as a pri
vate." "No use. Dey didn' b.ab no. private
'But yo' could have marched in da
"Huh, catch me doin' dat, wif -da
generals ridin' in de caboose."
"Yo' could hab made yo'self useful
when dey threw out skirmishers."
Nope. Dey threw me out wifout
waitin' fo' skirmishers.'-'
Music "Whenas- in Silk My Julia
Goes." (I'd rather buy clothes for
Mr. Hoyle had commenced to think
that his son Arthur was. takiner ad
vantage of his generosity.
"Why, when I was your age, young
man, he said, one morning, after a
particularly urgent demand for more
funds, "I didn't have as much money
to spend in a month as you spend in
"Well, dad, don't scold me about
it," aid the youth. "Why dont you
goor grandfather?" Harper's
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