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Newspaper Page Text
BY FRED SCHAEFER.
Teleefams are-always signed for
in an fiirtreme hurrv. .The messenger
boy neyer- lingers. to rubber at some
thing m.tne place.'
A wedding is seldom consummat
ed'without a disturbance at the altar.
Love at first sight is a violent
thing; it affects the victim somewhat
like a smash between the eyes.
Heroines, have to be short, so they
can look up into the hera's. eyes and
let their small white hands steal up
around his neck. s
A night watchman is morally cer
tain to take 'a hap.
If there are goods piled up in front
of a grocery, somebody has to fall
all over them.
There is never anything quite so
instantaneous as an identification.
A criminal is generally traced by
his chauffeur. Nearly all criminals'
It is nothing for an .artist to. paint
a-portrait with his back to the sitter.
Mary Jane's master is eccentric.
He always writes her a note instead
of telling her what to do. The other
day he sent home some note paper j
with the usual die-sunk address
printed on it. Mary took it in. The
first thing she noticed was a note
attached to it addressed to her.
"Well, this is the last straw," said
indignant Mary as she read the note.
"Pie Inside This Package."
HER -OWN "DADDY" FIRST
"JOHNNY" TO SEND ROSESJ
New York, Jan. 28. Just as Mil
dred Richardson, 16-year-old chorus
girl in "The Queen of the Movies,"
was about to go on at the Globe-
theater, a few evenings ago, the stage
manager handed her a wonderful
bunch of roses, with this note:
"To Mildred, from her first stage
door Johnny. Daddy."
And, sure enough, after the show
was over, there was "daddy" at the
stage door. He is W. E. Richardson
of Bromley,Saskatchewan, Canada
and" had made the long trip to New
York, just to see his little girlimakq
heribst stage appearance.